John August's Superheroic Scene Challenge

[NicklausLouis]

John August will occasionally have a a little challenge on his site. Like a lot of short film challenges (for instance, the dearly departed ITOOFC) he gives you a couple of requirements to build your scene around then leaves the writing up to you.

I finally got the bug to take part in one challenge.

Here's my entry. Let me know what you think.

I didn't win (winner), I don't think my scene was even considered in the running since I couldn't get the Scrippets code to work on his site (works just fine on mine, not sure what the problem was).

 

[NicklausLouis]

That bad, huh?

 

[VPTurner]

WTF?

What the hell just happened there?

No, not bad. Just way out there in left field. Funny. Took a bit to get oriented on what I was "seeing". BRICKHOUSE threw me for a moment because I wasn't sure if it was a place or a thing until I got to "his". It rang in my head as "Brickhouse the Staff of Seeing...", and then I had to orient my tired imagination on how a brick shithouse (?) with hands and legs wielding a magical staff would look. Took me out of the action for a moment.

So I'll post it here. And no one will read it.

And you were surprised at your self fulfilling prophecy?

EDIT: Okay, I read the requirements for the scene, and it makes sense. Maybe needs more visuals to orient the imagination.