these are the rules for the democratic nominee
Have a political adviser determine everything you stand for
Read from the teleprompter, make sure you rehearse
dont have any original, creative, or interesting ideas
Make a big production about race
Make up an elaborate story
Say you were arrested visiting mandela overseas
Be entitled to minority vote, stay centrist
Be prepared for the left to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've served wallstreet for 50 years,
And nothing will fundamentally change
its natural for voters to feel a little upset
when a candidate isn't progressive enough to promote their cause
But if you pander to gender and race
And use woke, neoliberal hashtags in your acceptance speech
They'll think youre part of their agenda
And honestly, they'll be so grateful youre not donald trump
and so you dont have to even earn their vote
Unless they care about crippling medical costs or inescapable student debt
i sponsored war in iraq
unpopular
I sound unconfused when I talk
unpopular
my loss is easy to predict
and I think china is perfect
being presidental is the most important thing there is
ask a reporter why trump isn't more presidental
then call yourself stupid as soon as possible
If a global health crisis shuts down the economy
only show your face every two weeks
once every two weeks
And if you see a chance to secure the nomination
Tell your supporters go outside and vote in spite of the corona virus
Tell them if they feel healthy that its safe for everyone
i sponsored war in iraq
unpopular
I sound confused when i talk
unpopular
my loss is easy to predict
but i've got a VP chick
i propose we support a limit of one debate per election
i think it will keep people - more open to bidens presidency
cause if they hear you speaking
they'll question if youre sharper than plastic scissors
nows the time to vote before your cognition declines anymore
voters wont mind, they've studied the candidates long enough already
voters have enough information now. dont legalize weed yet though
we need studies still
forget about metoo and times up
forget about tara reade. no one hashtag believes women
no one'll ask if you raped tara
no one'll even critize you
cause then they'll be attacked for helping trump
every american, every democrat in the whole world can be shamed
as a trump supporter if they critize you
the democratic nominee for president!!!
