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critique I wrote my first short film script, I NEED Critiques!

Soooo I'm a writer in Houston Texas! This is really my very first screenplay.

This is my second draft.

Let me know what you think, feel free to let loose and give me hell. I need CRITIQUES

On everything, structure, clear separation between acts, dialog flow, even spelling!

Thank you for your blunt honesty!!
 

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