I haven’t made anything in 14 years

When I made my first short in 2007 — or thereabouts — I figured I’d make another one quickly. But that little short that I made without having a clue what I was doing made it into more than 20 small film festivals. (I’ve forgotten exactly how many. 22? 24? It fades in memory.) Paradoxically, that made it more difficult to make a second film. The process of making that one showed me how little I’d known, so I developed a barely perceptible fear that I’d just gotten lucky. Deep down, I feared that I would be exposed as a fraud if I tried again. And even though I swear to myself that I’m finally going to make something else THIS year, it hasn’t happened yet. But ... maybe, just maybe ... it’ll happen soon. In the meantime, I’ll use lack of funds as an excuse to keep ignoring it. 😉

When I’m not cowering in fear of being an artistic fraud, I run the office operations for a small real estate company in Birmingham, Ala. My first career was as a newspaper editor and eventually publisher. Then I accidentally got stuck as a political consultant for years. (I made a lot of money, but I had enough trouble sleeping at night that I had to get out of it.) So I’m still trying to decide what to do when I grow up. And in the meantime, I’ll be hiding from my years-old need to create.

So that ought to be enough to keep ’em from deleting the account, huh?

David
 

CamBlamo

Pro Member
indiePRO
IOTM Winner
I've been in the military for 15 years, still trying to figure out how to balance my desire to make films and my need for a job. It's extremely taxing on the brain, but hopefully I'll retire and still have a desire to make stuff.

I also feel like I don't know what I'm doing, don't know if that ever goes away though.
 
Top