I wrote an outline for a humorous (at least to myself) crime-centered short film a couple years ago, and haven't ever been able to make it. I won't post the whole thing here, but I'll give parts of it and if you're interested I can send you the whole outline and info sheet I wrote for it (I never wrote a full script). I made it while thinking of the old Police Squad TV show, but I didn't intend at all for it to be like that. Here it is:
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**Characters**
Main detective: The straight man. He’s a smart, competent detective and doesn’t have any detectable sense of humor.
The assistant: He seems competent, but frequently insists that a leprechaun must have committed the crime. He’s a big fan of detective stories, and as the story progresses he points out similarities between the case at hand and other TV/book cases, and accurately predicts what will happen next according to that.
A germ-a-phobic girl: Constantly puts on a new pair of gloves before shaking hands or touching anything. In her home there are footprints cut out of paper and taped to the floor and she only steps on top of those to get around.
An internet crime gang (a leader and 2-3 members): They only operate online, so of course they all have acne, talk in annoying loser voices, and appear to not be popular with the ladies. They’re also nerds and use complicated words, and make lame computer-related jokes. A non-violent gang.
A genius shoe shiner (This is an homage to Johnny from ‘Police Squad’): He knows everything about everything, but he’ll only talk if he gets paid.
**Story Outline** (runtime will be approx. 10 mins)
The two detectives appear late at a crime scene which they both believe to be caused by two different people and cannot agree. They examine a few clues but can’t get anywhere concrete. The main detective believes it must’ve been carried out by a gang leader, while the assistant thinks it’s too clean for a gang and the crime must’ve been committed by a leprechaun.
They go to meet the girlfriend of one of the men who was killed, and she gives them a lead to the headquarters of an underground internet crime gang.
They travel to the internet crime gang and speak with them, who have no leads, but simply waste time.
Stumped, they walk down the street and ask a shoe shine man for information. He tells them it is most likely a highly-trained spy, but that it also fits the description of a leprechaun.
The two detectives talk about how difficult of a case it is. They get a radio report that says another crime has happened in another neighborhood, and leave together.
At the last shot, we’ll see a leprechaun crouching in a corner, laughing to himself and smoking a pipe. He does a little jig and vanishes.
**Sample Joke Ideas**
At the crime scene (in the background) in the opening part, there is an unknown man outside lying on the ground, and a detective is drawing a chalk line around him. The man slowly starts to wake up, moving his left arm, and the person drawing the chalk line simply keeps drawing. By the end of the scene when the two detectives leave, the man is gone but there’s a chalk drawing on the ground that has multiple arms and legs.
One of the clues found at the crime scene is a cookie in the victim’s pocket. The assistant takes it out and dusts it for fingerprints while the main detective is examining the body.
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I don't mind if you're honest in a review. I know it's not perfect, but let me know what you think.
And if you decide to use it for a Hollywood film (I might never use it myself) and make millions of dollars, please let me know
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**Characters**
Main detective: The straight man. He’s a smart, competent detective and doesn’t have any detectable sense of humor.
The assistant: He seems competent, but frequently insists that a leprechaun must have committed the crime. He’s a big fan of detective stories, and as the story progresses he points out similarities between the case at hand and other TV/book cases, and accurately predicts what will happen next according to that.
A germ-a-phobic girl: Constantly puts on a new pair of gloves before shaking hands or touching anything. In her home there are footprints cut out of paper and taped to the floor and she only steps on top of those to get around.
An internet crime gang (a leader and 2-3 members): They only operate online, so of course they all have acne, talk in annoying loser voices, and appear to not be popular with the ladies. They’re also nerds and use complicated words, and make lame computer-related jokes. A non-violent gang.
A genius shoe shiner (This is an homage to Johnny from ‘Police Squad’): He knows everything about everything, but he’ll only talk if he gets paid.
**Story Outline** (runtime will be approx. 10 mins)
The two detectives appear late at a crime scene which they both believe to be caused by two different people and cannot agree. They examine a few clues but can’t get anywhere concrete. The main detective believes it must’ve been carried out by a gang leader, while the assistant thinks it’s too clean for a gang and the crime must’ve been committed by a leprechaun.
They go to meet the girlfriend of one of the men who was killed, and she gives them a lead to the headquarters of an underground internet crime gang.
They travel to the internet crime gang and speak with them, who have no leads, but simply waste time.
Stumped, they walk down the street and ask a shoe shine man for information. He tells them it is most likely a highly-trained spy, but that it also fits the description of a leprechaun.
The two detectives talk about how difficult of a case it is. They get a radio report that says another crime has happened in another neighborhood, and leave together.
At the last shot, we’ll see a leprechaun crouching in a corner, laughing to himself and smoking a pipe. He does a little jig and vanishes.
**Sample Joke Ideas**
At the crime scene (in the background) in the opening part, there is an unknown man outside lying on the ground, and a detective is drawing a chalk line around him. The man slowly starts to wake up, moving his left arm, and the person drawing the chalk line simply keeps drawing. By the end of the scene when the two detectives leave, the man is gone but there’s a chalk drawing on the ground that has multiple arms and legs.
One of the clues found at the crime scene is a cookie in the victim’s pocket. The assistant takes it out and dusts it for fingerprints while the main detective is examining the body.
==========
I don't mind if you're honest in a review. I know it's not perfect, but let me know what you think.
And if you decide to use it for a Hollywood film (I might never use it myself) and make millions of dollars, please let me know