Here, Again- a script i wrote/ am working on

This is the first quarter of my script, a film i plan to make eventually. this is the first script i worked on. Im 18 and I started it about a year ago. this is probably the fifth draft or so. most of what i posted sounds pretty cliche but the rest isnt for the most part. there is some information about the script that you may want to read first, posted in the wanted section, here.

FADE IN

INT. A SMALL BANK - 5:30 P.M.

The bank is very plain, with no pictures or decorations. There are only a couple of plants.

DOLLIES WITH JOE FROM BEHIND

WE FIRST SEE JOE walking through the door, up to the bank teller with his back turned to us.

JOE
Hi.

JUDY- THE BANK TELLER
Hi, how are you?

JOE
Fine, thank you... I would like to withdraw $500 from my account please.

Joe has a slight southern accent, complete with the quiet, southern hospitality.

JUDY- THE BANK TELLER
Sure, what’s your account number.

Joe pulls something out of his pocket.

WE HEAR A GUN COCK BACK

The bank teller’s face quickly changes to a nervous expression.

JOE
Now, what i really want, is for you to go open up that safe back there and put the money in the briefcase my partners holding. Jimmy, give her the briefcase.

WE FINALLY SEE JOE'S FACE as he turns to JIMMY. He is younger than his partner and is wearing sunglasses. Both men are wearing black business suits.

PAN TO JIMMY
He walks up to the teller and gives her the briefcase.

JIMMY
(Smiling)
Here you go miss.

PAN TO ASHLEY
We see that there is another bank teller, ASHLEY. She looks over and realizes a robbery is taking place. She does not say or do anything.

Ashley looks much calmer than her fellow worker.

CUT TO JOE

JOE
Now, let me tell you something. We're not stupid, OK? So if you're going to try anything, just remember, we will not hesitate to kill you, and yes, the gun is loaded, fuckin' believe me..... Go.

Joe looks over to Ashley.

JOE
You, help her.

CAMERA DOLLIES WITH THE TWO GIRLS

They go to the safe and Judy begins to whisper to Ashley.

JUDY- THE BANK TELLER
I don’t want to give them the money.

ASHLEY
(surprised)
...what? Why? It doesn’t even matter to us.

JUDY- THE BANK TELLER
I'm not giving them the money. They're not gonna do anything. These guys are bank robbers not killers. They're in enough trouble as it is. Do you really think they would kill anyone?

ASHLEY
Well... yeah, maybe. I mean, it’s very possible. We don’t have any idea what these people are like. Why does it even matter to you if they take the money or not?

JUDY- THE BANK TELLER
These guys are the scum of the earth. And they're just bank robbers Ashley! I bet those guns aren’t even loaded. Trust me. They're not gonna kill anyone.

PAN WITH JUDY’S HAND

She presses the alarm.

PAN TO ROBBERS

Jimmy, who has seen the teller press the alarm, informs his partner of it.

PAN TO ASHLEY

ASHLEY
Wait a minute, why the fuck did you do that? You're gonna get us killed.

JUDY- THE BANK TELLER
Don't worry Ashley!

ASHLEY
Believe me, I'm not.

CUT TO JOE

JOE
(in an almost singing voice)
Hey giiiiirrllssss, we haven't got all daaaaayyyy.

The two girls walk up to him.

JOE (cont'd)
Now, tell me something. Did you press the alarm?

JUDY- THE BANK TELLER
Alarm? There’s no alarm in here.

PAN TO JUDY

Joe cocks back his gun. Judy’s expression has changed to one of sheer terror. Joe sighs.

JOE
Honey, do you remember, what i told you before? You know you really should have listened to me.

Judy looks nervous and says nothing.

CUT TO JOE

JOE (cont'd)
I mean, who do you think we are? You thought you were goin’ to be able to pull something off like that and get away with it?
Joe looks at Jimmy. Jimmy begins to walk up to the teller.

PAN TO JIMMY AND JUDY’S FACE

Jimmy pulls out a knife and SLICES JUDY TWICE in the gut. The girl FALLS to the ground.

CUT TO JUDY

She is SCREAMING and BLEEDING. Blood is on the floor.

PAN TO ASHLEY

She looks shocked.

JOE (O.S.)
(talking to Ashley)
Okay. You, hurry up and grab that money. Quick.

WE HEAR JUDY STILL SCREAMING OFF SCREEN.

PAN TO JOE

He looks down at Judy, points his gun and shoots her in the head. It is very quiet in the bank again.

PAN TO JIMMY AND ASHLEY

Ashley walks up to Jimmy and hands him the briefcase.

JOE (O.S.)
Alright. Come on, you gotta come with us.

ASHLEY
(surprised)
But..why?

DOLLY WITH EVERYONE

JOE
Not now darlin, you'll have plenty of time to ask questions later. Right now we gotta get the fuck out of here.

Joe, Jimmy, and Ashley quickly walk out of the bank, outside and into the car that is parked in front of the bank. Ashley and the killers drive away.

CUT TO:

INT. JOE’S CAR - 5:40 P.M.

FRONT SHOT, FROM BACK OF CAR

Ashley and the killers are driving away from the bank. Jimmy lights a cigarette.

JIMMY
Shit man, we're fuckin’ lucky the cops didn't show up too fast.

CUT TO JOE, IN REAR VIEW MIRROR

JOE
That bitch, is she your friend?
Joe stops talking.

JOE (cont'd)
I'm sorry, what I should've said was, “was she your friend”?

BACK TO FRONT SHOT, FROM BACK OF CAR

Jimmy laughs and Joe turns to Jimmy.

JOE (cont'd)
What?

The criminals laugh together.

FRONT SHOT OF EVERYONE

ASHLEY
No, not really.

JOE
Dumb dits.

ASHLEY
Where are you taking me? Why are you taking me?

JOE
Don't worry about it. Yer safe. That's all that matters right?

ASHLEY
Well how do I know that? You guys are fucking killers.

JIMMY
(smiling)
Yeah, that's true.

Jimmy giggles.

JOE
Hey, if you don't try anything stupid like your co-worker did back there, I think you'll be OK... But then again, I don't know about Jimmy. As you can see, he does get a little crazy at times. I remember this one time, back home-

CUT TO FLASHBACK

EXT. A DARK DESERTED ROAD

SHOT FROM MIDDLE OF ROAD

The two criminals walk down the side of the road. There is a small civil war cemetery to the right of them. Jimmy is staring at someone OFF SCREEN.

YOUNG GIRL WALKS INTO VIEW

JOE (V.O.)
We were walking down the road late one night, after we did this job, for a friend of ours. There was this young girl, she must’ve been about 17 or so, walking down the road. And I look at Jimmy, and he's just staring at her. I mean, he would not take his eyes off this young girl for a second. Next thing you know-
As the girl is walking by the criminals, WE QUICKLY SEE JIMMY grab the girl.

BACK TO JOE, IN REAR VIEW MIRROR

JOE
the girl’s on the ground screaming.
Kid must’ve still been in the mood after doing that job. You know what i mean?

BACK TO FRONT SHOT, FROM BACK OF CAR
Jimmy turns and looks at Ashley.

JOE
But you shouldn't have any trouble with me. I only do things like that for money, not pleasure. I really don't enjoy killing someone, or raping them. But, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Jimmy smiles, looking at the girl. Then he finally turns back around, to the front of the car.

BACK TO FRONT SHOT OF EVERYONE

JOE
We need gas. Miss, where’s the nearest gas station around here?

ASHLEY
Down this road, on the right.

JOE
Thanks. You know, even though you don’t talk much, you’re a pretty nice girl. I really hate having to take bitches with us. They never shut up, and it always ends up being more messy than it should be. And it gets that bad quite often. And when it does, you gotta do somethin’ about it. You really have no other choice.

SHOT OF GAS STATION

They drive in. Joe parks at an open gas pump.

BACK TO FRONT SHOT, FROM BACK OF CAR

Joe puts his sunglasses on.

JOE
Well, I guess i might as well fill this fucker up.

He laughs. He turns around and looks at Ashley.

JOE (cont'd)

I’m sorry, where are my manners? I must have forgot you were back there because i would have not swore like that. I apologize.
Joe looks around at them both as he speaks.

JOE (cont'd)
You two want anything to drink or eat while I’m here?

JIMMY
Just a bottle of water.

Joe turns around to Ashley. She shakes her head no.

JOE
You sure?

Ashley says nothing. Joe turns back around to the front.

JOE
OK, be back in a minute.

Joe gets out of the car and closes the door. There is silence in the car. Jimmy takes off his sunglasses. After a minute, he sighs.

JIMMY
You know, I don’t do those things anymore. I’m not like that.
He pauses.

JIMMY (cont'd)
(quietly)
...Anymore.

It is again silent in the car. Jimmy takes out a bottle of pills and takes out a pill from it.

JIMMY (cont'd)
Joe just likes to make it look that way so people are frightened. I don’t enjoy looking that way.

After a minute, Joe opens the door and gets in. He hands Jimmy his water.

JOE
Alright, lets go.

He starts up the car and begins to drive away. Jimmy takes the pill.

JOE
I hope you two had a nice, friendly conversation while i was gone.

BACK TO SHOT OF GAS STATION

Joe drives out of the gas station back on the road they were before.

BACK TO FRONT SHOT OF EVERYONE

ASHLEY
Where are we going?

JOE
The Paraside honey, the good ol' paraside. We just have to find it first. I'm not from around here, don't really know where we are. Do you?

ASHLEY
Not really, I don't live around here.

JOE
No, actually, I think I am from around here, somewhere. Don't know exactly where. All that cheddar's turned my brain to mush. Can't remember a damn thing anymore. Speaking of cheddar, i sure can go for a bump right now, huh? How 'bout you Jimmy?

JIMMY
Yeah that'd be great.

JOE
You see, it was this kid who got me doin’ that shit. Now, I can’t even stop. Can you Believe I was a nice quiet country-boy before findin’ this kid? Fuckin’ corrupted my mind big time, and fucked up my brain.
Ashley doesn't reply.

JOE (cont'd)
I mean I know that’s hard to believe but it’s true. Damn, even the car smells like that shit.
There is a short silence in the car. Jimmy is mostly staring out of his window, looking at the sights.

JOE
Alright no more talkin’ about us, what about you? You sure you’re from around here? You don’t sound like you’ve lived here forever.

ASHLEY
I've lived down here my entire life.

JOE
Is that so? Well, its a good thing you don't talk like that. I never could stand those fucking accents anyway. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love the south. It’s just some of the people I don’t like. And the buisness is a bit slower around here too. Its just a lot easier back up home. Well, our old home at least. Yep, I noticed the change right away, and I loved it to tell you the truth.
There is a silence in the car.

JOE (cont'd)
You know, people are always complainin’ about the way it smells down here, and I just don’t know why. I love the smell. There’s something...genuine about it, you know?

ASHLEY
...No, I don’t know actually.

BACK TO FRONT SHOT, FROM BACK OF CAR

Joe turns around looks at the girl and smiles, then he turns back around.

JOE
I apologize for rambling on. Just tryin’ to make you feel comfortable.

JIMMY
Pull over, I wanna count this money.

JOE
Alright. I gotta piss anyways.

JIMMY
Well, who's gonna watch her?

JOE
She's not gonna try anything. She knows what'll happen if she does.

BACK TO JOE, IN REAR VIEW MIRROR

JOE
Right, honey?

CUT TO ASHLEY

Ashley says nothing.

BACK TO FRONT SHOT, FROM BACK OF CAR

Jimmy turns and looks at Ashley.

JIMMY
If you don't mind me asking Miss, what's your name?

ASHLEY
Mandy.

JOE
Really? You don't look like an Amanda.
Joe laughs and Jimmy smiles, and turns back around.

ASHLEY
It's Mandy, not Amanda.

JOE
Oh... Interesting, I didn't think you were able to name your kid Mandy. Thought it was illegal or somethin’. Figured it had to be Amanda. Well, as they say you learn something new everyday, ain't that right Jimmy?

JIMMY
That's right.

BACK TO JOE, IN REAR VIEW MIRROR

Joe smiles.


BACK TO FRONT SHOT, FROM BACK OF CAR
Joe turns to Jimmy and Jimmy turns to Joe, and they both laugh.

JOE
Okay, I'm pullin over here.
Joe pulls the car over. He turns around to look at Ashley.

JOE (cont'd)
Stay in the car. And don't try anything.
Joe and Jimmy get out of the car. Jimmy throws his cigarette away.

CUT TO:

EXT. NEAR A LAKE AND FIELD - 6:15 P.M.

Joe and Jimmy are out of the car. To the left of the car is a lake. To the right is a small hill that leads to a field. Joe looks at the lake.

JOE
Now I must say, this is really beautiful. What a nice view.

Joe moves away from the car and starts to urinate by the lake. WE SEE JIMMY as he puts the briefcase on the car and walks over to the lake and starts to clean his knife.

CUT TO ASHLEY

She looks at the criminals who are facing the other direction and then looks to see if the keys are in the ignition.

CUT TO IGNITION

There are no keys.

BACK OF JIMMY NEAR CAR

He is opening up the briefcase. When the killers are not looking she gets out of the car and starts to run towards the hill. Jimmy looks up at her.

JIMMY
Hey!

PAN TO JOE

He is urinating. He turns to look at what is happening. Jimmy turns to Joe.

JIMMY
Joe, come on!

JOE
Hold on man, I gotta finish pissin’ first, I can't just stop when I'm already going. Burns like a motherfucker.

PAN TO JIMMY

He starts to run after the girl.

JIMMY
You bitch!

PAN TO JOE

He finishes urinating, puts the briefcase back in the car, and follows Jimmy slowly.

CUT TO ASHLEY

Ashley reaches the top of the hill. She looks around the field and sees an old house and a barn. She runs into the house, which is closer.

CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE

Ashley walks into the house and quickly looks around.

ASHLEY
Hello! Is anybody there?

PAN AROUND INTERIOR OF HOUSE.

The house is very dirty. It has only an old table with two candles on it. There are also two chairs beside the table.

PANS WITH ASHLEY

She runs up the stairs.

CUT TO INSIDE ROOM

There is a dirty mattress in the only upstairs room. No one is there.

CUT TO DOWNSTAIRS

Ashley runs back downstairs, out of the house and towards the barn.

EXT. OUTSIDE, ON THE FIELD

CUT TO JIMMY

He is about to get to the top of the hill. As he gets to the top of the hill, he stops and looks to see the house and barn on the field.

CUT TO BEHIND ASHLEY, JIMMY IS IN VIEW, IN THE DISTANCE

Ashley is hiding on the side of the barn looking at Jimmy. She sees him walk into the house. Ashley quickly walks into the barn.

CUT TO BACK OF JOE

He is still walking up the hill. Joe finally gets to the top of the hill. He looks around the field to notice he is alone.

CUT TO BEHIND ASHLEY, INSIDE BARN

PAN AROUND BARN

There is no one else in the barn. There is nothing but hay and a few tools.

CUT CLOSE TO SOME BLOOD

It is stained on one of the walls.

EXT. OUTSIDE, NEAR THE BARN

SHOT IN FRONT OF HOUSE

Joe has come out of the house. He looks towards the barn.

CUT TO BARN, FROM NEAR THE HOUSE

Someone is walking by the barn.

CANNOT SEE PERSON CLEARLY

CAMERA ALTERNATES THE TWO FAR SHOTS AS THE PEOPLE SPEAK

JOE
Hey?

JIMMY
Yeah?

JOE
Jimmy?

JIMMY
Yeah.

JOE
Did you find her?

JIMMY
No.

JOE
Well did you check in there?

JIMMY
The barn? I already checked it before checking the field and the woods.

JOE
Well, check it again.

JIMMY
What? Why?

JOE
She could’ve been hiding.

JIMMY
I would’ve found her Joe, you know that.

JOE
Maybe she wasn't in there when you looked.

Jimmy says nothing.

JOE (cont'd)
Just fuckin do it man!

Jimmy walks into the barn.

CUT TO FRONT OF JOE

He is watching Jimmy.

BACK TO FAR SHOT OF BARN

Jimmy is standing as if he is looking over something on the ground. He then neals down, still looking at the same spot.

BACK TO FRONT OF JOE

Joe starts to walk towards the barn and takes his sunglasses off.

CUT TO BEHIND JOE

He quickly walks into the barn.

JIMMY IS ALSO IN VIEW

WE SEE THEY ARE LOOKING down AT ASHLEY’S DEAD BODY.

JOE
Did you hear her screaming or anything?

JIMMY
I didn't hear shit.

JOE
Well, where the fuck were you?

JIMMY
I told you, after I checked the barn, I checked the woods and the rest of the field.

JOE
Well, how the fuck didn't you hear her man?

JIMMY
I don't know! It doesn't even matter now, she's dead anyways. What do you want to do with her?

JOE
Carry her to the car and we'll dump her in that lake over there.
Joe leaves to go get the car. Jimmy is still standing looking over the body. He looks around the barn.

BLACK AND WHITE PAN AROUND BARN

CUT TO BLACK AND WHITE OVER BARN

Jimmy picks up the body and carries it outside of the barn. He then goes back inside the barn, picks up some clean hay and throws it over the

BLOOD SOAKED hay.

CUT TO THOUGH HOUSE WINDOW OF JOE

He is walking away from the barn.

CUT BEHIND JOE

He is about to walk down the hill, to the car.

RISES OVER JOE’S HEAD SHOWING CAR, LAKE, AND SUNSET

JOE WALKS INTO FRAME

He is walking to the car. He gets into it and drives it near the hill.

JIMMY WALKS INTO FRAME

He is holding Ashley's body. Joe gets out of the car and opens the trunk. Jimmy puts Ashley’s body in it and Joe closes the trunk. They then get in the car and drive to the other side of the lake. They get out of the car, open the trunk and throw her body into the lake.
 
Hm a quick remark and question if you don't mind :)

One at this part here..

He looks down at ashley, points his gun and shoots her in the head. It is very quiet in the bank again.

PAN TO JIMMY AND ASHLEY

Ashley walks up to Jimmy and hands him the briefcase.

I don't get it he shoots ashley in the head but yet she's fine... I presume it's just a type-o but was curious if I was missing anything.

And I'm not getting the ending. Did she kill herself or was there someone else in the barn who did it like it was hinted? If so who was it and why didn't it get the other two? I'm probably just missing something but it seemed good, I was expecting a sort of Blair Witch project thing with the barn with blood and then her dead :). I think you should incorperate their backrounds more, they just seem like random filler info with no purpose. Though again I may of been missing something there. Thanks, it was good I enjoyed it and hope to see the movie soon!
 
J.D. said:
Hm a quick remark and question if you don't mind :)

One at this part here..

He looks down at ashley, points his gun and shoots her in the head. It is very quiet in the bank again.

PAN TO JIMMY AND ASHLEY

Ashley walks up to Jimmy and hands him the briefcase.

I don't get it he shoots ashley in the head but yet she's fine... I presume it's just a type-o but was curious if I was missing anything.

And I'm not getting the ending. Did she kill herself or was there someone else in the barn who did it like it was hinted? If so who was it and why didn't it get the other two? I'm probably just missing something but it seemed good, I was expecting a sort of Blair Witch project thing with the barn with blood and then her dead :). I think you should incorperate their backrounds more, they just seem like random filler info with no purpose. Though again I may of been missing something there. Thanks, it was good I enjoyed it and hope to see the movie soon!
thanks alot for letting me know about the "typo". it was the other girl he shot. and ashley was killed, (you may find out by who) . thats all i can really say about that. theres alot of mystery to the whole story. its something that youll have to figure out for yourself. it has hints of what my two possible interpretations are. but anyways, this is only the first part of the script. more is explained as the script goes on. but the only things that are explained are things that naturaly come up in the conversation. so you do not know everything about any of the (only 4) characters. the criminals are the main characters, mostly Jimmy. most of the information you find out is important to the story. but now, you cant tell. thanks for the comments.
 
Ah I see nice. Sorry forgot it was but a portion of the overall script. 4 main characters eh hm... :) Looking good can't wait to see or read more as the days roll on!
 
thanks. heres the next part of it.

CUT TO:

INT. joe'S CAR - 6:45 p.m.

Side shot of criminals

There is silence among the two criminals. Jimmy looks over at Joe, but says nothing. He turns back to the front and eventually speaks.

JIMMY
So, where are we staying tonight?

JOE
Well, I was thinkin' that house up on that field would be perfect.

JIMMY
That old, beat down, smelly...piece of shit?

Joe
Sure. Why not?

Jimmy pauses for a second, looking at Joe.

JIMMY
Well, what's so fuckin' perfect about that Joe, huh?! Why can't we just go to motel or something? Christ, we have plenty cash for it. Hell, we can stay at a hotel if we wanted to, with cable TV, a nice bath tub and shit...and a waterbed, maybe even a fuckin' jacuzzi too man-

Joe pulls the car over.

JOE
(interrupting)
Hey man, I'm gonna stay at that place and wait for those fuckers to come back. And so are you.

JIMMY
Listen man. I don't think I can do it, I mean I really don't think I can stay in that house man!

Jimmy continues to ramble on nervously.

JOE
Wait, shut the fuck up for a minute!

Jimmy stops talking.

JIMMY
(taking a deep breath)

OK.

JOE
Now, what's wrong with you man?

JIMMY
I don't know man. I just don't have a very good feeling about staying there tonight.

JOE
The house.

JIMMY
Yeah.

Joe sighs.

JOE
Did you take your pills today?

JIMMY
Yeah.

JOE
OK. It'll be fine man. We'll be fine. What are you afraid of?

JIMMY
I'm not scared, man!

JOE
Then what's your problem?

JIMMY
...There's no problem.

Joe smiles.

JOE
Good. Then I guess we should head back now, don't you think?
Joe starts the car and begins to drive back to the house.

Dolly with car from above

He drives through the woods on a driveway that leads to the house.

CUT TO:

EXT. outside, near the old house 7:00 p.m.

It is now almost completely dark and there is a full moon. It is very quiet on the field.

Cut to shot of car, criminals, and house

Joe and Jimmy get out of the car, and begin to grab their things from the car.

Cut to barn

There is a strange light shining from inside.

Cut to joe and jimmy

Jimmy turns his head towards the barn. Joe is does not notice and continues to grab his things from the car.

JIMMY
Joe?

Joe's head is down, not seeing the barn.

J0E
Yeah?

JIMMY
What the fuck is that?

Joe looks up, and over to the barn.

J0E
Well, it looks like a light, coming from inside the barn.

JIMMY
...Well why is there a light coming from inside the barn man?

J0E
It's them. I bet they fuckin' live in that place. Its probably an improvement from the house. Come on. Bring the guns too.

Cut to guns

Jimmy grabs them from the car.

Back to criminals, car and house

Jimmy hands Joe his gun. Joe then checks his gun to make sure its loaded. Joe and Jimmy start walking towards the barn.

Cut to dolly in front of joe and jimmy

Jimmy stops and looks to the right.

Cut to Black and white shot of woods

The criminals are now facing the woods.

Back to in front of joe and jimmy

JIMMY
Hey, do you see anyone over there, or hear anything?

Joe stops, looks at Jimmy, then at the woods.

J0E
There's no one over there, they're in the barn. Now let's go man. Come on.

Jimmy starts to walk towards the barn again, Joe following.

Cut to Black and white from woods, of the criminals.

Cut to Following joe and jimmy from behind

They both go inside the barn. There is a FLASHLIGHT hanging on the wall that is on.

Cut to flashlight and pan down to where it is shining

Cut to closer shot of area

It is shining on a spot of BLOOD.

Cut to behind joe and jimmy

JoE
I thought you got rid of all the blood.

JiMMY
I did.

JOE (cont'd)
Well what the fuck is that Jim, huh?!

Jimmy says nothing.

JoE
Listen. You're too fuckin' careless, man. You see? It's gonna be you who gets us caught one day, because you're so fuckin' careless.

JiMMY
Fuck you, man! I know I hid that blood.

Cut to black and white in front of criminals

The light starts to dim.

JIMMY (cont'd)
If someone was here, what makes you think they wouldn't find the blood either way. All they have to do is walk around the fuckin place and they'll see-

The flashlight is dead. It is very dark in the barn.

JOE
Lets go back to the house.

Cut to same shot, in color

We hear the criminals still ARGUING, but cannot make out what they are saying

EXT. outside, near the barn

Follow beside joe and jimmy

JIMMY
- so what the fuck are we doing now?

JOE
Get our shit out of the car, bring 'em in the house.

JIMMY
Woah-woah, wait a minute Joe.

Cut to in front of joe and jimmy

Joe and Jimmy both stop walking.

JIMMY (cont'd)
We're aren't still staying at that house tonight.

JoE
Sure we are. Why wouldn't we? Didn't we already go over this in the car?

Jimmy looks frightened.

JIMMY
Yeah but that was before this shit in the barn. They obviously already know what happened. The flashlight and everything was probably a sign that they're waiting for us or somethin'.

JOE
Well that's OK, 'cause we're waiting for them... What are you afraid of man?! We weren't the ones who killed that girl right?

JIMMY
(stuttering nervously)
R-ri-

Joe slaps Jimmy on the side of his face.

JOE
Right?!

JIMMY
Right, but I just don't know if I'm sure it was those killers that even did that thing over at the barn man!

JOE
What thing?

JIMMY
T-the fuckin blood, the flashlight! Look, what if it wasn't the killers who did that?

JOE
Who else could've done it?

JIMMY
I don't know, anybody!

JOE
(pointing towards house)
Nobody even lives around here, look at this place. We're in the fuckin boonies.

Cut to following criminals from behind, house and car are also in view
Joe and Jimmy start to walk towards the house again.

JOE (cont'd)
No, we're going to stay here tonight and wait for those fucks to come back.

JIMMY
That's probably what they want us to do anyways.

The criminals are near the car, and stop walking once again.

JOE
(pointing at his partner)
Well, regardless of what they want or don't want us to do, and what they know or don't know, we're still staying here tonight. And that's it man, you got it?

JIMMY
Yeah.

JOE
(pointing at the car)
OK. Now bring that shit in the house.

Jimmy starts to grab their things from the car.

Cut to criminals from inside trunk

Jimmy opens it to get their things. Joe walks next to his partner. After Jimmy has gotten everything, Joe closes the trunk.

Screen is now black

FADE IN to:

INT. tHE OLD HOUSE- 7:20 p.m.

Joe opens the door and the two criminals walk inside.
JOE

Gimmie your light.

He flicks on the lighter.

JOE (cont'd)
See, man? This isn't so bad now is it? Well, it smells kinda' bad but
nothin' compared to some of the places we're used to back home. Damn, It's cold in here.

He walks to the table, lights the two candles and sits down in one of the chairs. Jimmy continues to stand, holding the briefcase looking around the house.

JOE (cont'd)
Now-uh, there's only one bed upstairs, and that's mine. So, you'll have to sleep on the floor or somethin'. And I think its best you stay down here tonight so you can keep a lookout for those bastards in case they show up again. Hey, you listenin'?

Jimmy turns his head to Joe.

JIMMY
(quietly)
...Yeah.

JOE
Why don't you sit down instead of lookin' at a buncha' nothin'?
Jimmy walks to the table, puts the briefcase on it and sits down.

Joe
(smiling)
Now, hows about we take a look at this cash now.

Joe opens up the briefcase.

JOE (cont'd)
You gotta' admit Jim; 'twas a pretty big score from such a small place. Looks like plenty to go around. Tomorrow, we'll go back home, make the call, get the shit and we're on our way. It shouldn't be hard to cross that border. Those fuckin' cops don't even have dogs with them.
Jimmy starts staring around the house. He looks distracted by something and is not paying attention to what Joe is saying.

JOE (cont'd)
I mean, its not like they give a fuck anyways. And you can't forget, cops like cheddar too. So, I'm thinkin' the cheese will cost about half this cash. Might be smart to get a little for ourselves just so we don't end up blowin' what we're supposed to be sellin'. After that, we should still have plenty of money to get out of here and enjoy ourselves a bit before gettin' down to business. That's it man and it'll be all profit. No more dealin' for somebody else. The cash is gonna be all ours, man and it's gonna' be great.

Joe pauses.

J0E (cont'd)
(angrily)
Hey man, what the fuck is wrong with you?!
Jimmy turns to Joe, but still says nothing.

JOE (cont'd)
You haven't said a fuckin' thing since we've been in here! Are you going crazy again?

JIMMY
I'm not crazy!

JOE
Well, what the fuck is wrong man?!

JIMMY
Well stop fuckin' screamin' at me then!

JOE
Sorry man. Really, I am.

JIMMY
OK...Well...Have you ever been to a place, that just gives you a really... uneasy feeling? Almost like someone's watching you?

JOE
No, not really...But...I do have this vague memory, I don't know if it's something happened when I was young or a dream or what. But, i remember sitting in my room and... just sitting there for what seemed like hours. I could see, I could hear...But I could not move. It was as if something was pulling me in...And all these feelings...felt like the walls were watching me and somehow holding me still...It's really the only reoccurring dream I ever have. And I'm not sure if this really happened...or if it's just a childhood dream that never went away.

JIMMY
You know what, Joe? You wanna know what the truth is?

Joe says nothing.

JIMMY (cont'd)
Whenever you think someones watching you, THEY ARE watching you. Whenever you feel like someone's in the room with you...they're in the room with you...staring, observing your every move... with a kind of half-grin-half-smile. And you just sit, silent, looking around the room...like I was doing a few minutes ago...When that kind of fear comes to you...It gets inside you, and there's nothing you can do about it...you just feel the fear...There's almost no choice but go with it...And I don't know why I feel this way.

Jimmy pauses.

JIMMY (cont'd)
You ever been here before?

JOE
I don't think so, at least not the house. Did look a bit familiar but you know how that is, and I'm shot anyways so I can't really tell.
Jimmy points his head down looking sad and upset.

JIMMY
And that girl. Even if we got to her in time, I wouldn't have killed her. She was different. There was something-

JOE
I know man, I felt the same.

JIMMY
And you made me up to look like some sick, crazed killer who enjoys what I do for a living... It wasn't supposed to be this way. I wasn't supposed to have anymore problems...Everything's supposed to be alright. What am I doing here?

JOE
You need some sleep man. You'll feel better if you do. You're probably just really tired and shook up. I'm pretty tired myself.

JIMMY
I don't think I can sleep, I'm too scared to sleep.

JOE
Come on man, you need to sleep. Come on, it'll do you some good. Listen, we're leaving tomorrow, look we only have 12 hours left, that's it man.

JIMMY
12 hours?...We haven't even been here for 2 hours and look how I am now?

Joe
My point exactly. If you're asleep then there's nothing to be scared about.

JIMMY
Actually, I'm scared more of my dreams than I am of reality.

JOE
But dreams can't hurt you 'cause they're not real.

JIMMY
Sometimes they can be Joe... and it's not so much if they are real. What's more frightening is the fact that they seem real. That's all that matters in that moment in time...Do You think you can do me a favor?

JOE
Yeah, man.

JIMMY
Can you just...stay down here and wait until i fall asleep alright?

JOE
OK.

Jimmy gets up from the chair, walks over to a wall and sits on the floor against it. Joe continues to sit at the table and quietly looks around the house. He waits for a few minutes longer. When he thinks Jimmy is asleep, he gets up and walks up the stairs.

Cut to through jimmy's eyes, the screen is black

Jimmy opens his eyes. He looks around the room breathing heavily and nervously. Jimmy puts on his sunglasses and after a few minutes, falls asleep.

FADE OUT.

thats probably all im going to post. :roll: but we'll see.
 
i didnt quite read everything but there is one problem :

ASHLEY
Not really, I don't live around here.


JOE
No, actually, I think I am from around here, somewhere. Don't know exactly where. All that cheddar's turned my brain to mush. Can't remember a damn thing anymore. Speaking of cheddar, i sure can go for a bump right now, huh? How 'bout you Jimmy?

JIMMY
Yeah that'd be great.

JOE
You see, it was this kid who got me doin’ that shit. Now, I can’t even stop. Can you Believe I was a nice quiet country-boy before findin’ this kid? Fuckin’ corrupted my mind big time, and fucked up my brain.
Ashley doesn't reply.

JOE (cont'd)
I mean I know that’s hard to believe but it’s true. Damn, even the car smells like that shit.
There is a short silence in the car. Jimmy is mostly staring out of his window, looking at the sights.

JOE
Alright no more talkin’ about us, what about you? You sure you’re from around here? You don’t sound like you’ve lived here forever.

ASHLEY
I've lived down here my entire life.
she doesnt live ther and she does live there, if this mistake is mine sorry i might of just misread, but im pretty sure its contradictory :)
 
its not meant to be. joe was refering to her not having an accent, because she lives in the south. so when she says "down here", thats what shes refering to. so yeah i guess thats my mistake if no one understand it right. though no one else has mentioned it to me. :P
 
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