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Help with my first screenplay!

punee

punee

Hello guys!

This is a rough story of my short.3 friends head out in the local colony to hang out .They see a bunch of Refugee's .One guy among the 3 friends suggest that they should try to imagine themselves in any 3 of the refugees.Then,we open into black and white scenes.They imagine themselves in 3 refugees.

Here's the problem,I really dont know what next is?Like what scenes should be next?This being my first screenplay,I'm really struggling down.Anyone with suggestions/ideas?

When I implement it,I will definetly give credit to the writer,thanks in advance!
 
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Why do we need the three friends at all? Why not just tell three refugee stories?

Also, what interests you about refugees in the first place? Maybe you need to interview some real refugees to hear their actual stories.
 
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I want to show it in other's point of view(the ones who are not refugees).I choose refugees as theme coz i wanted to show element of some human emotion ,passion,humanity.
 
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Perhaps their struggles as refugees. I like the transition to black and white when they envision themselves as refugees. Going the Dirty route will focus more on story but if you have three guys pretending to be refugees it becomes a combo of analysis AND story.

Just think of what they'd experience as refugees. How would they react to someone belittling them-they're not originally refugees so they'd probably be a little aggressive. Maybe one friend knew a real refugee. He's more like the voice of reason or reality.

You have them walking, then pretending to be refugees. Maybe they wake up together in a camp somewhere or a hut or something really impoverished. Then they go about their day as refugees. Interview some real refugees like Dirty said and do some reasearch into actual stories and refugee expereineces- title"The Refugee Experience"??? lol
 
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Thanks for the positive replies ,guys.I'vd been reading up many incredibly touching refugee experiences which I found on google.But trying to adapt them to short screenplay isnt possible,maybe I could use some part of their experience.
 
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Its always hard to adapt another person's story to film. Try focusing on the key details and compelling aspects of the story. This story would be about putting yourself in the shoes of teh refugees, you'd need to show what struggles they go through. Think of their stories as the explanation then you take that explanation and put it in script form by SHOWING the explanation. "I went to the local well and had to provide proof of the amount of people in my family and how much water I needed." would be "Tim, stands in line, documents in hand. In front of the well is a small table where two guards sit." Don't focus on the details of their story focus on what you can show in film. What easier to show? Make composites. You don't need to use entire stories just parts to mix and match. But if these three guys are "changing roles", then you'd want to show the most extreme and significant aspects of each story.
 
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Maybe a story about three gypsy refugees in a gypsy refugee camp, and make it bright, you know that gypsies are happy whatever happens to them (at least that's what Kusturica sais) :).
Show how people are different and how the character and our perspective of life is the most important thing that defines us. Some can be happy in any situation, and some can be not - whatever the circumnstances are it's just not enough to make them fell sattisfied.
Some people find happiness in small things and some long all the time for something more nad something big for them.

That's how us screenwriters are too. Some of us are happy with only writing, while some of us will be happy only if we make it to the top.
Show how government agencies are talking to them, some of tem won't mind, some will see it as a potential trouble, some will feel like sh1t and wouldn't wont to talk, and some will try to make some gain out of it.

You can build a small society in the camp. They might fear one of theirs, alpha, who bullies them, takes food from them, some romances arise maybe? In crysis it often happens..
A lot of possibilities for character development, and you have a bonus of showing their reactions in crysis, as well as in established commune.

They may have taken some small items with them, that mean a lot to them, make each item have it's story involving some of the characters from camp.

It's got a lot of potential, i don't know if you need the three boys that watch them, sympathy has to be produced inside the audience not in another film character, it might ruin the feeling, it's pretty degutee and passee in my opinion.

So good luck and remember one thing, if you create a situation that is emotional, and you build it up good, don't let characters take the hit, and all the tension is going to transfer to the audience, they are going to experience it more if you subtly show it and you don't make a mistake and try to make audience feel like some of your characters acts, keep the emotion bursts outside "screen" and it will build up inside audience.
 
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I don't quite fully understand your post. This is what I'm thinking.

1. You need help creating the refugee stories
2. You need help transitioning to the refugee stories.

1. I can't help you. You're the writer so come up with it.
2A. Maybe an out of body experience? They become refugees, and are confused as to what is going on, and they are forced to live as refugees.
2B. Maybe years ago they were refugees and seeing other refugees reminds them of there past.
 
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