watch Half-complete, would appreciate your help, ideas, please.

[gorillaonabike]

Hello ladies and gentlemen

I would really appreciate if you would please comment as I need a little help and some ideas. What I have achieved so far has only been possible with what I have learned on this forum and therefore any thoughts / ideas you have around this would be tremendous.

I am shooting a music vid and we have shot a small portion (less than a third). We still have the external and greenscreen portions to shoot but I thought I'd produce a rough cut based on the footage so far. This is just a little rolling around on the floor / playing around in the bath with the singer.

https://vimeo.com/62788521

Password Miriam

I have a few specific questions, please:

1. Colouring - which way would you go? I have shot this a few different ways (a little over, under cooked etc...) and think I would go with a little overexposed, wash the colours out and maybe focus on the yellows as this is a combination of brightness and sadness (and will bring out her blonde hair).

2. Graphics. I was thinking of putting large, 3D words into the shots emphasising what she is singing (e.g. when she is rolling around on the floor). What do you think?

3. For the greenscreen portion, what would you put behind her? I was thinking of putting a couple of different abstract backgrounds behind her. Maybe clouds etc...

4. What do you think, generally, around the direction of the vid and the themes?

5. What would you definitely, unequivocally, absolutely, cut out?

6. What would you definitely, unequivocally, absolutely, leave in?

7. Any other comments?

This is a rough cut of about one-third and we have 66% to come (walking outdoors and greenscreen).

Thanks in advance for your help.

 

[rayw]

1. Colouring - which way would you go? I have shot this a few different ways (a little over, under cooked etc...) and think I would go with a little overexposed, wash the colours out and maybe focus on the yellows as this is a combination of brightness and sadness (and will bring out her blonde hair).
With white balance being blown on the yellow-orange tungsten lights I'd go with desaturating it as well. Then overexposing that.

2. Graphics. I was thinking of putting large, 3D words into the shots emphasising what she is singing (e.g. when she is rolling around on the floor). What do you think?
Just be careful not to make it look silly, especially since it's NOT a silly song.
Maybe just regular display text of key lyric words/phrases fading in and out at appropriate times.

3. For the greenscreen portion, what would you put behind her? I was thinking of putting a couple of different abstract backgrounds behind her. Maybe clouds etc...
Scenic shots of exotic or extreme natural locales around the world, not exclusively tropics.

4. What do you think, generally, around the direction of the vid and the themes?
Glad to hear you'll be getting some more material, especially outdoor shots.
What's here is rather monotonous and somewhat claustrophobic.

5. What would you definitely, unequivocally, absolutely, cut out?
Those cameraman's shadow shots @ 1:04, 1:51, 2:10, 2:12, 3:21 and the cameraman's elbow cameo @ 2:45.
Consider cutting out the shot @ 3:06. It looks like she's farting in the water, (I know it's just flowing past, butt still... it LOOKS like...

6. What would you definitely, unequivocally, absolutely, leave in?
The shot @ 2:26, which I think is the most interesting shot in the vid. The only one that sparked my attention with the OOF pull out.
Maybe the one at 2:40

7. Any other comments?
Whomever did the audio mix laid in the music overpowering the lyrics. I can't hardly tell WTH she's singing or what the song's about.

Also, push your editing skills and see if you can make this more dreamy and less reality.
Superimpositions of time lagged 30% opaque images, white vignettes, gauzey looking hazes, distorted perspectives, and shifting doppelgangers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDRsOrBGLxk

 

[gorillaonabike]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDRsOrBGLxk

Fantastic! Thanks for that. Some great points and I will use lots of this.

 

[NickClapper]

I think you need to mix this up quite a bit. At the moment, it's reminding me slightly of something that might be on Cinemax, with a scantily clad woman rolling around in a location that looks suspiciously like somebody's home...

I think this will massively benefit from getting some exterior shots, but bear in mind the message of the song. The refrain is 'why can't you be mind?' so I feel the visuals need to be more closely reflecting that sense of longing. Perhaps you could have her walking around town, looking at old haunts she used to go to with the guy (or wants to go to with the guy) and then juxtapose that with her home, alone and feeling vulnerable.

Just some ideas

 

[gorillaonabike]

I think you need to mix this up quite a bit. At the moment, it's reminding me slightly of something that might be on Cinemax, with a scantily clad woman rolling around in a location that looks suspiciously like somebody's home...

I think this will massively benefit from getting some exterior shots, but bear in mind the message of the song. The refrain is 'why can't you be mind?' so I feel the visuals need to be more closely reflecting that sense of longing. Perhaps you could have her walking around town, looking at old haunts she used to go to with the guy (or wants to go to with the guy) and then juxtapose that with her home, alone and feeling vulnerable.

Just some ideas

Hi Nick. Thanks for this and the other two-thirds will be shot greenscreened and in a very specific location. The idea is narrative, performance and emotion, all reinforcing the message of the song.

As the song is about introspection, we will use mirrors including a circular mirror sculpture (which I used on a couple of other shorts) to have her reflected but also full body shots involving movement. In addition, the themes of water and reflection will run through this (tears and reflective introspection). The water has to flow so I have a waterfall (in London) that I like to use.