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archived-videos Fragments Of The Absent Mind
- Thread starter NamelessMan
- Start date
Some heavy German expressionist elements. I loved the set, with the mirror and swinging light. I love the bold tone, showing the events in a jarring and straightforward manner, with an interesting voiceover and some really interesting visuals. The fast forward/timelapse shots looked great as well.
Eh, after the inside shots, you started to lose me. The sand surface would have been better if initially smoothed out, which would have given the scene a calmer look, making the rise of the actor look like a huge action happening amongst the calmness. I didn't like the shots of the mannequins.... or the white/black flash transitions.
I REALLY liked the black and white shots... those looked great. I also really liked the waking up shots. I think you could have started with the room opening, then cut to the beach shots, while progressively showing the black and white shots as he wakes up.
The waking up shots looked good. They were well framed, and almost everything that followed. The grading was fantastic later on, and I thought that the nudity (I recommend you add a NSFW warning) really added something to the film, showing vulnerability and giving the film a more personal and brave feel.
I didn't like the way the film tied up. The final meditation shot with the credits was unfitting, and so was the music. But nice work. I really liked this short and I look forward to seeing more films from you.
Eh, after the inside shots, you started to lose me. The sand surface would have been better if initially smoothed out, which would have given the scene a calmer look, making the rise of the actor look like a huge action happening amongst the calmness. I didn't like the shots of the mannequins.... or the white/black flash transitions.
I REALLY liked the black and white shots... those looked great. I also really liked the waking up shots. I think you could have started with the room opening, then cut to the beach shots, while progressively showing the black and white shots as he wakes up.
The waking up shots looked good. They were well framed, and almost everything that followed. The grading was fantastic later on, and I thought that the nudity (I recommend you add a NSFW warning) really added something to the film, showing vulnerability and giving the film a more personal and brave feel.
I didn't like the way the film tied up. The final meditation shot with the credits was unfitting, and so was the music. But nice work. I really liked this short and I look forward to seeing more films from you.
Hey thanks for the sincere critique. I really appreciate it. You know, there is this saying: One cannot reach perfection, but the progress towards it is infinite. I have one more short I finished right after this one and I want to take my chances with the festivals before I make it public. For now I need to gather my forces to make another film. I want to evolve, make them a bit longer.
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You're welcome. And I agree, one cannot reach perfection. But of course, whether or not something is perfect is purely subjective... and an artist should try their hardest to reach perfection (IMO). Hoped that the feedback helped you. But nice work! I can't wait to see the next one, please post it whenever it comes out. I thought this one was far more evolved than your last. Keep developing your style & improving.
Caveat: Try not to obsess too much over perfection, however. I see a lot of my own friends obsess to the point it makes them pretty depressed and give up (and some I know never start things). That is probably more of a reflection of the person themselves, but the point is, there is a tension between always wanting to get better, and fearing imperfection. I don't think Op is suffering this, but one should be aware of the unattainability of perfection, whilst somehow always striving toward it.
Perfection is subjective indeed. For me seeking perfection keeps me motivated to do better all the time for the things I value. Right now I am working on a screenplay. I want to make a better and longer film. So yeah, I may not reach perfection, but if I ever become a professional film director I will look back on my progress and I would be proud in what my films evolved into.