archived-videos First short, critics welcome

TheArtist

TheArtist

Hey everyone,

I made this short and I consider it to be my first one even thought I tried before. This is the first one I wrote, directed, DoPed and edited all the way through.

It was shot on Tuesday at sunset (you can tell), edited on wednesday after classes and a little bit on Tuesday at noon right before projection.



Flaws I'm already aware of :

-The change in lighting towards the end. Everybody got a little bit later on set that I'd have expected because of classes. Sunsets are not that long...

-A few sound badly synchronized. Because of the rush, I really did it quickly, tring to move on as fast as possible to stay motivated to finish it.

-My master shot feels weak. I don't know why, probably because I'm dead front of my subject but feel free to elaborate.


Other than that, I'm super glad of how it turned out and even happier that people really loved it.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTjBGDKaz-s&feature=plcp
 
Upvote 0
subtitles would rock..

i like your shots with the guy in white t-shirt... they look awesome...

the other two, feel alot more boring...

blood effect too bright... and too splashy...

oh and i heard you hit your microphone at around 1:38...
 
Good job for a first video...here are a few suggestions to spice up your shot list.

Do more medium,medium close ups of your characters...less wide shots after the first one. This really helps as the emotions build.

Get some shots of "close ups" on things like what they are holding, eating...putting hands in their pockets. This will give you something to cut to between your main shots.

"Film Riot" on youtube has some great how to vids you may want to check out as well.

Good Luck!
 
The blood effect really needs to be redone, it looked fake. Try hitting it with a match grain effect, lowering the saturation, dropping the contrast on it, and bumping up the blue channel a bit to get it closer.

At the very same moment, however, the editing has a bit of a double-beat. In the shot with the splatter, you can see the arm shoot up into frame, but as you cut to the next clip, the arm is shooting up again from his side. it might be best to take away around 10 frames from the second shot, try to line up the arm a bit better in space so that it cuts a bit more seamlessly.

The dialogue was well-written, though...or at least I imagine it might be, because it sounded french, and I couldn't understand a word of it

EDIT: Also, toss quite a bit of blur on the blood, the foreground is shot out of focus there, so it make 0 sense for the blood to be crisp and in focus
 
Thank you guys for the input.

No one felt like the master wide shot was missing something ?

For the blood effect, actually there are two of them. One for the over shoulder shot and the other for the falling on the ground shot. I really just added them in a hurry to add some value to the thing right before projection to people who are not aware of what is the situation of amateur filmmaking today. I never thought about the blur effect on the blood. You're are absolutely right.


The microphone hitting thing, well that was my boom op getting tired. It was his first time and he still needs to work at it and get the technique.

I added the subtitles very quickly with YT annotations if you wanna understand what's going on..
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top