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synopsis First draft of synopsis; feedback wanted

I just completed the first draft of the synopsis for my next CG short film, a spiritual successor to my previous effort “Distress Call”. Like its predecessor, it’s going to be all in one shot, telling the story through the environment using no real animation, but this time there’s also going to be narration, more accessible music, and hopefully - if I can afford it - much more naturalistic visuals. I’m also going to write a proper script this time, even though I’m probably in the end still going to be pragmatic about what is possible to do (for instance, making Distress Call only became possible when I stumbled upon a shader and a particular texture pack, which ultimately influenced much of the story).

Anyway, it’s a first draft, there’s plot problems, but I thought I’d like to get it out there and possibly get some feedback :)

LOGLINE:
Deep beneath a dying city, an old spirit seeking its salvation must retrace the violent story of its past.

The synopsis can be downloaded here (1 page):
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/22338894/DistressCallSpiritualSuccessorSynopsis310515.pdf
 
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