film maker

H

hershfelder

hey everyone I'm new here, and It's great to join this filmmaking community, I'm an independent film maker who just started putting together decent films I been making, I'm a year fresh out of college with my associate's degree and I recently made a spoof off of the hit tv show Stroage wars and and I was wondering if many of you would be kind enough to give me some feedback on it and let me know what I did good and what i could have done better. here is the link below from my youtube channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDftKm2elQ4
 
Stupid. Sorry but that's all I got. Watched the first minute and gave up. Maybe there's an audience for this but I don't know how. Sorry for harsh words but that's how I see it.

Owen
 
Political humor is going to piss off half your audience right off the bat even with excellent production value.

This didn't have much production value.
 
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no offense but the storage wars show is bad enough as it is...

like really i get annoyed at the show and many shows like that because they are a "skripted reality show" ... which means they are not reality... or they are a rehash of an event that happened but made a little more exciting...

so... as for making a parody of it... you should take an actual skript... word for word from a show...

and then change that skript up to make it more clever and cheesy... so that all the characters have speaking parts and they are actually talking...

physical humor is hard to pull off unless you are really good at it... so not having real words to speak means you have to rely more on what is happening... and your characters dont actually have anything going on other than them standing there pretending to talk...

now i didnt finish watching your video because the sound of bill clinton doing the auction really was annoying more than anything...

maybe if try this out...

actually try and imitate the presidents them selves... ie... bill clinton should have been behind a potium or desk the whole time you saw him... and some were towards the end... some chick should have came out from behind the desk...

obahma... should have been more suttle with his movements and slightly lean his head back and forth when he talked and when his head stopped at the end of each movement his hand has to also...

plus if your going to make them not actually talk but just make noise... do the cliche translation jokes...

like making obahma talk with some really ghetto slang and only a few words are understandable... but then in the translation... those words are not there... and it is very deep and sophisticated translation...

and for bill clinton since he is doing the auction... make him ramble on a lot... and the translation be ... very small... then make him talk a little and the translation be a lot

these are all cliche jokes... and i wont give you any more tips for jokes because then at that point i am just writing you skit...

but if you do want some help with jokes... do what i do... get drunk... and start writing... then when your sober... redue it all over from scratch ... and laugh at how smart you thought you were when your drunk... and then play off that hahahahahah just kidding

just take your time with it... try that stuff out and see if peoples views change of your skit... i bet money they will
 
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