• Wondering which camera, gear, computer, or software to buy? Ask in our Gear Guide.

story Feedback please

Hello everyone!!

I have been working on a story for the last few months and with this quarantine I finally decided to have a go at it and get the script read. I would like to share my story and would love some feedback and suggestions on how to improve from the more experience writers :) Thank you so much :)

The film starts at a funeral, an old man is being consoled by friends and family. He returns to an an empty home and goes through photos of him and his wife. Later, he is eating a meal alone still thinking about his wife, just then the cat comes on to the table and looks at him. He ignores the cat and continues eating. Later, he carries on his daily chores in the house but the cat continues to seek his attention. Out of irritation he starts to feed the cat but slowly starts to care for the cat. The movie cuts out showing a photograph of his wife with the cat.

I was thinking of showing in the end credits the old man doing his daily chores in the house with the cat and seems happy. He and his cat eat together, when he sleeps the cat also sleeps next to him and they both go on walks, when he is reading the newspapers, the cat sits on his lap etc. This all just implies that the cat is helping him move on with his life.

What do you guys think? I don't have any pets so I'm kind of stuck and not sure how to show the relationship between the old man and a cat. Are there any areas that needs to be tweaked?

The film will be 5-6 minutes long with minimal dialogue or almost none. The inspiration for the idea was from animated film UP :)

Please provide honest feedback and any help with the story possible. Also, I haven't come up with any title yet so I'm open for ideas :) I can give a co-writer's credit :) Thank you again :)
 
Last edited:
Back
Top