Feedback please! My First Fight Scene

A

Aidanaguilera

Hey guys, I'm a senior in an Australian film school and recently met a few aspiring stuntmen through some martial arts training. I of course did what any sane film maker would do - brought the stunt men to a cool location with a camera rolling. We had to be in and out fast so we did the best we could with about 5 hours worth of choreography and shoot time and yes the lighting wasn't ideal but we literally didnt even have a tripod with us. This is what we came up with - I would love feedback from fellow film makers as we plan to do a higher scale scene in the future with a proper crew and lighting and could really benefit from you're suggestions. Thanks for your time!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-GiMIPcZcY
 
Very nice job! I only have a few critiques:

- The first shot held on a bit long and was a bit ambiguous about who we're supposed to be rooting for. Something simple like cutting to the main character as he runs to hide, or even using the moment as a tension builder, having the character hide, then having the antagonist enter the scene more confidently, perhaps a boom or pan up from a low shot...something.

- On the same note, I didn't really feel the antagonist. It was clear that he was the one doing the pursuing, but he looked more frightened than the hero. If that was your intention then it's not clear as to why he's more afraid, yet the one in pursuit.

- A bit of a two-sided compliment: I loved how you didn't go too Bourne identity with your shot list. You let the choreography speak for itself, and I had an understanding of where we were in the space in the same fashion as the classic Chop-sockey Kung Fu action flicks of the seventies and eighties. On the converse, however, it did have a very modern style to it, and if felt like there were a few moments that you restrained yourself from getting close. Examples: as the protagonist is hiding, you have a good moment to let us know how he's feeling without speech. An ECU on his eyes, or even his fist balling up speaks volumes in moments. Or during his rage while he's killing the bad guy. Even as a reveal when he wakes up from being unconscious, start close, then move back. Don't be afraid, hug that space!

- A few shots could probably have used another take. I like the angles, but some of the misses are pretty blatant, most notably the hook kick at 1:20.

- Finally, a couple of moments could use a tweak in the pacing. The shot at :34 when the stick is kicked from his hand stands out. I recognize that it's likely supposed to be a gag moment, but it falls a bit short to me, and feels like it could be tightened up by a cut in, or just having the kick arrive sooner.

Seriously, though, fantastic job, high-quality stuff! Looking forward to seeing more from you in the future!
 
thanks for taking the time to reply! I absolutely agree with everything you said. We hadn't really shot any action sequences before and as far as a shot list goes, it was whatever we could make up while they choreographed. So our main focus was on getting sufficient coverage to cut it together, when I was editing there were so many instances where I would have loved a tighter option so I'm definitely siding with you on that one. The entire was shot on handheld but we all agreed that we didn't need to go over the top with the shaky camerawork as these 2 were selling each hit pretty well. As far as 1:20 goes, every time I re-watch the video it bugs me haha, but that was the best take we had - we were running out of time and that was one of the last things we shot - got lazy and sloppy there, no excuses :(

Thanks again for checking it out mate, I know there's a fair bit to work on but I knew this would be a good place to get refined feedback
 
I love it! Honestly! I don't think you are going for feeling of characters, but maybe more of fight coordination technique since this is your first. I love your punches and how you can make them look real, without too many cuts. Too many fight scenes nowadays have way too many quick cuts, that only last a third of a second. Which can be effective, but not if they are used too often. I love how you don't get carried away with that.

My only critique is some shots were out of focus, such as when the guy grabbed a stick off the ground, but hey, deep focus can be tough sometimes.
 
thanks guys! appreciate the kind words. Yeh as you can tell we weren't really focused on telling a story, more capturing choreography sufficiently and then cutting it with as much impact as we could - still a lot to work on but we're getting there.

It was shot on a Canon 5D Mark II with a 15-40 lens and another 10mm prime lense for the super shallow shots (pain in the ass to focus pull on it with the moving shots, hence the blurry stuff)
 
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