LANGUAGE WARNING
A little help (this sucks, this doesn't suck too much, etc.) with a small excerpt would be greatly appreciated. It's the last half of Act One of a spec TV Pilot script. A little backstory since you're joining part-way in. Gabriela (Gabby) Santiago (1
, imbued with mysterious magical powers, travels through the New Mexico desert and arrives at a small town (Lagrimas de Angeles). She's just witnessed her parents' murder at the hands of several corrupt and evil ICE agents, who burned her home to the ground, and they're on the look-out for her. When the script says "Gabby/Woodpecker," it's an indication that she can inhabit the body of the bird and "see" through its eyes. Muchos gracias!
A little help (this sucks, this doesn't suck too much, etc.) with a small excerpt would be greatly appreciated. It's the last half of Act One of a spec TV Pilot script. A little backstory since you're joining part-way in. Gabriela (Gabby) Santiago (1
, imbued with mysterious magical powers, travels through the New Mexico desert and arrives at a small town (Lagrimas de Angeles). She's just witnessed her parents' murder at the hands of several corrupt and evil ICE agents, who burned her home to the ground, and they're on the look-out for her. When the script says "Gabby/Woodpecker," it's an indication that she can inhabit the body of the bird and "see" through its eyes. Muchos gracias!
Code:
EXT. OUTSIDE TOWN OF LÁGRIMAS DE ÁNGELES, NM - DAY
A tattered sign with a woodpecker perched on it says:
"Welcome to Lágrimas De Angeles. Population 120," and the
"120" is scratched through and handwritten "100," then "95,"
and finally "fucking 80."
It's also defaced with the scrawled line: "ICE come el culo"
(ICE eats ass).
On the road to Lágrimas, smack down the middle, marches
HIDALGO PASCUAL (120) with PANCHO THE PIG, a white shoat, on
a leash.
Hidalgo is in amazing, one might say miraculous, shape for
being 120 years old. He wears his going-to-town straw hat, a
Che Guevara t-shirt, and finishes his couture with a pair of
blue adult Pampers.
A car screams up behind, stops just feet away and HONKS.
Hidalgo promptly offers the rude-finger.
The driver whips around man and swine and speeds off.
DRIVER
(out the window)
Crazy old Pendejo!
The two walk on peacefully for a distance.
Sheriff RASHIDA DAMU (40), African American,
approaches from the town in her beat-up cruiser,
slows, passes the pair,
swings around behind and turns on her top lights.
Hidalgo and Pancho stop.
Sheriff Damu hauls herself from the cruiser (out the
passenger side) after trying unsuccessfully to open
the busted drivers' door and twists her shirt to straighten it.
HIDALGO
Good day, officer.
Hidalgo holds his wrists out for the cuffs.
SHERIFF
Stop that shit. I told you to keep
your ass on the side of the road,
Hidalgo.
HIDALGO
Officer, you've mistaken me for
someone else.
SHERIFF
(been down this road
before)
Right, you're Federico Garcia
Lorca, famous Spanish poet...
HIDALGO
Sarcasm!
SHERIFF
Listen --"Federico"-- there's a
meeting at The Barn today.
HIDALGO
Precisely where I was headed until
you snuck up and apprehended us.
SHERIFF
Do I look like I could sneak up on
anybody? I'll give you and Ms.
Piggy a ride.
HIDALGO
Pancho hates the cops.
SHERIFF
Don't EVER wear those diapers in
public again, you hear me?
HIDALGO
(looks down)
I leak.
SHERIFF
Don't care. Pull some pants on over
them next time. Jeezus.
The Sheriff grabs a floor mat and tosses it on the seat, then
holds the door as Hidalgo and Pancho climb in the back. They
drive off toward Lágrimas, Pancho's snout out the window
sucking wind.
Woodpecker/Gabby crouches and LEAPS into the air.
EXT. NEW MEXICO DESERT - MORNING
Beneath the willow tree, Gabby's eyes, now closed, flash
open. She rubs them, stands, grabs her backpack and heads off
at a jog.
EXT. BESIDE GREEN CHILI PEPPER FARM - MORNING
Hood down, Gabby walks along a trail next to a ten foot,
heavy chain-link fence, topped with barbwire. On the other
side, rows of green chili pepper plants.
As she walks, RAFAEL LOPEZ (21),
appears on the other side of the fence and keeps pace with
her.
A red bandana on his head, he's broad-shouldered, dark
skinned, well-tatted.
She notices him from the corner of her eye, but ignores him.
He's carrying a pail of chili peppers.
RAFAEL
Buenos días, Señorita! May I offer
you a chili pepper, New Mexico's
finest?
She flips him the bird, keeps walking.
RAFAEL (CONT'D)
Impressive. But can you levitate?
She STOPS, turns to look at him.
He sets the pail down, reaches high on the chain link fence,
grabs hold with his right hand, places his left hand mid
level and slowly extends his body, toes pointed, to a ninety
degree angle from the fence (a gymnast move) and holds it.
He smiles at her.
He slowly lowers himself.
She claps once, twice. He bows deeply.
GABBY
Is this a prison?
RAFAEL
Only metaphorically.
GABBY
And what does that mean?
RAFAEL
I'm innocent, I swear.
GABBY
So is the devil.
RAFAEL
And what does that mean?
GABBY
When everyone's guilty, no one is.
RAFAEL
Ah! You're an ex-con yourself!
GABBY
Only metaphorically.
He laughs. She turns and starts walking.
GABBY (CONT'D)
I haven't got time for this shit.
Fuck you.
RAFAEL
(in Spanish with English
subtitles)
But time is all I've got, sweet
Lady of the Weeping Chili Peppers!
She speeds up. He grabs the fence.
RAFAEL (CONT'D)
Wait! I know why you weep inside,
mi amour.
She hesitates, turns.
RAFAEL (CONT'D)
Death. Always death. Even love
dies, no? Hold on to it, breathe it
in, savor its bitter taste, know it
well. (takes a pepper in his hand
and crushes it) Then kill your
enemies (tosses the pepper in his
mouth) and eat their hearts.
She stares for a moment, nods, and leaves.
EXT. BENICIO'S GENERAL STORE - DAY
Main street, Lágrimas. A line of locals leaks out the front
door. A sandwich board reads: "Benicio's Tamales: 2 for $1
Today ONLY).
INT. BENICIO'S GENERAL STORE - DAY
Benicio, behind the counter, cashes out an OLD FARMER. He
hands him a carry-out bag.
Besides the normal and various sundries, hundreds of calacas
line shelves and counter tops. The store is BUSY.
ZOE LOPEZ (18) (short spiked hair, tats, lip rings), in a white apron,
comes up to help the next customer.
Benicio goes behind a wall to the kitchen. He takes a plate,
reaches in a steamer and removes three tamales, unwraps them
and arranges them.
He grabs two tortillas, folds them carefully, and places them
next to the tamales. Two sprigs of parsley finish the
presentation.
He walks back out past the waiting customers and exits the
front door.
EXT. BENICIO'S GENERAL STORE - DAY
He goes around the side of the building to a garbage can. He
opens the top and carefully places the plate on a small crate
covered with a white cloth at the bottom. He closes the lid
and goes back inside.
BEAT
From around the back of the building a head pokes out.
It belongs to LOCO AMERÍCA (45). Dirty and disheveled, she's
dressed in homeless rags with an American flag wrapped around
her shoulders.
She emerges trailing a little red wheelbarrow upon which
three large stuffed garbage bags balance precariously.
She goes to the garbage can, opens it, and carefully removes
the crate and plate of tamales. She goes to a cinder block
near the wall, sits, places the crate before her and eats.
INT. BENICIO'S GENERAL STORE - DAY
Benicio's behind the counter again. He waves his hands over
his head.
BENICIO
Yo, amigos! Amigos! That's it for
today. We're closing.
Anyone I see at the meeting gets a
free tamale tomorrow.
Some good natured grumbling from the waiting customers who
begin to leave.
EXT. TOWN OF LAGRIMAS DE ANGELES - DAY
Her hood over head, hands in pockets, Gabby walks down Main
Street.
She notices Benicio's General Store; a small crowd's filing
out: safety in numbers.
She moves toward it. From the corner of her eye, she notices:
An ICE Patrol vehicle. It's creeping along slowly from
behind.
Eyeing the small crowd: Sargent Moya (passenger seat) and
Agent Cruz (driver)
She hustles to a small alley beside the store and whips
around the corner.
Some funny old drunk is trying to kiss a homeless woman!
She considers her options and pushes between a dumpster and
the building's wall, then yanks her backpack in with her.
The ICE van slowly passes by, Sargent Moya watching. He
yawns and points forward. The van speeds up and disappears.
EXT. BENICIO'S GENERAL STORE - CONTINUOUS
Benicio, wearing his cowboy hat, follows the last customers
out of the store. He carries a three-foot wooden paddle.
Zoe follows and stops him.
ZOE
(takes paddle from him)
I got this.
BENICIO
(pats her shoulder)
Gracias.
Benicio turns and walks off. She hefts the paddle, walks
around the side of the building.
DIEGO GONZALEZ (60) has Loco America pinned up against a
dumpster, trying his damndest to plant a kiss on her lips.
She's squirming and kicking his shins.
Diego looks like a Latino Santa Claus: long white beard,
round as a pumpkin, bald pate. His suspenders are working
overtime to cover up his plumber's crack and failing
spectacularly.
Zoe comes up behind him and plants her feet in a batter's
stance.
ZOE
(loudly)
Diego Gonzalez, you leave Loco
America alone or I swear to God I
will whip your ass!
DIEGO
(waves dismissively)
Go away.
Diego slurs his words; he's three sheets to the wind.
Zoe nods. She hauls back and swings.
*SMACK*
Diego howls, grabs his ass and hops away from Loco.
As he rubs his smarting behind, Loco gathers her wagon and
slips around the corner.
DIEGO (CONT'D)
(hikes up his trousers)
La amo!
ZOE
No, you don't love her, and she
don't love you.
She rests the paddle against the building's wall, jams fists
on hips and gets up in his face.
ZOE (CONT'D)
Only one woman in this world loves
you, and you know who it is:
Juanita, your wife. Look at you,
drunk on mezcal and it ain't even
noon yet. SHAME ON YOU!
Diego stares at his feet.
ZOE (CONT'D)
When you were sick last Christmas,
who planted ten Christmas trees in
your front yard and decorated them
just to make you feel better?
DIEGO
Juanita.
ZOE
And who lights a prayer candle for
you at Saint Casimir's every damned
day?
DIEGO
(lip quiver)
Juanita.
ZOE
And who loves your drunk, randy old
butt ten thousand times more than
it deserves?
DIEGO
(a tear)
JUANITA!
ZOE
And where are you going now?
DIEGO
Home. I'm sorry, Señorita Zoe!
Diego holds his arms open, purses his lips for a kiss and
leans forward.
A wagging finger in his face.
ZOE
Nuh-uh!
She points to the street.
ZOE (CONT'D)
Next time I call the Sheriff. You
know she don't mess around.
Diego chuckles, holds his smarting butt, weaves between
invisible obstacles, and heads out of the alley and into the
street.
Zoe grabs Loco's dirty dish.
SOUND: "THUNK!"
Zoe turns to look. A backpack next to the dumpster.
Squirming a bit, Gabby squeezes back out from behind the
dumpster, her hoodie still up.
Zoe grabs the paddle, ready for whatever. The two girls stare
at each other.
ZOE (CONT'D)
(hefting paddle)
Well? You wanna try me?
Slowly, Gabby removes her hood.
More staring. Zoe notices Gabby's sweating, pale, with
bloodshot eyes: she ain't doing so well.
ZOE (CONT'D)
Say, you look like you could use a
tamale.
GABBY
(points to paddle)
Sounds better than getting my ass
beat.
ZOE
(nods)
This way.
They enter the store.