archived-videos Exit Stage Left - Web Series

ThomasKoch

ThomasKoch

Hello Indietalk. I'm a new poster here, after just rediscovering the forum. I know some of you from other forums so Hello. I just wanted to let as many people know about my new web series as I can. I am one of the Producers and the Director of Photography for many of the first episodes.

EXIT Stage Left is the story of The Lowry Theater Company and their attempt to stage a new play from novelist turned first-time playwright and the seasoned director who returns to NYC to keep the production on track. A show within a show, a play told within the confines of a web series, and a chance to see what happens before the curtain goes up.

You can view the first episode and a couple teaser videos at our website at www.lowrytheatercompany.com
 
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It has the potential to be funny in some parts, the actress delivered on that awkward humor.

I have to ask though, would anybody outside of the theater world find this interesting? There is no sense of stakes, I don't care that him and his writer have issues. Why do I want him to succeed? Does he have a lot of money invested in this? In this his only opportunity to fame in the theater world? I sense that there is supposed to be some theme that things are a little more out of control than he would like to admit, given the contrast between his interview and the actual on the job experience, but the theme doesn't play off. For instance, he is just hanging out with his writer while his production assistants are actually dealing with the chaos of actually putting together a play. It's all very removed.

Instead, you represent this theme through his disagreements with the writer. This is where your improvisational attempts are most apparent. It doesn't work. It works with the actress, better, but the scenes with your writer and director isn't funny. Actors can't improv a scene as well as a writer can plan them out. Your actors look no more professional than my two buddies in Ebony and Ivory improving it out.

I can't see anyone recommending this to their friends unless they are really into theater and amusing awkwardness. I figured out early on that film humor does not translate well to anybody who doesn't do film. I think I can say the same about theater humor, because it just didn't translate into funny to me either. You guys need to start asking yourself, why would people want to watch this? Simply give me a reason to care, and I will!
 
You guys botched that second episode...

Stop spending inordinate amount of time on subplot points you can establish in 10 seconds. This series so far... has been sloppy. The music is cheese. There 180 degree mistakes. The goofy talk on the phone to nobody plot device that explains (something you should never have to do in cinema) all of the tiny bit of story that has been developed. Having the protagonist say, "this character is trying to sleep with everyone!" and then put random dings in conversations to signify the horniness? What kind of lazy device is that? If a character is only interested in the women, you show instead of tell. The acting needs a lot of work. I'll give you credit, Tom, you at least have shot it decently. I'm pretty sure the rest of the people you work with aren't spending the necessary time in pre-production and actually writing this stuff.

I think you might be using the web series format as a crutch. Just because your series is cut into 6 minute sections, doesn't mean you get to leave any semblance of structure to your story behind. It might be forgivable if it were funny. But it's not and your characters are doing nothing more than having random awkward conversations. Seriously, that isn't narrative. You spend half the episode familiarizing the audience with where you were then, since the episodes are so short, you get proceed to go nowhere. Is the next episode going to spend two minutes of the director saying that things aren't starting off too well, but he believes things will turn out alright? Flashback to writer doing something that pertains to a rocky start? Lol, I get it, you want the viewers to be orientated at the start of every episode... but the episodes are so short that it seems redundant as hell.

Mockumentries are hard as hell to do, and if you do it wrong, the whole piece falls flat on its face. Kudos for trying, and if this was a student project, I would tell ya great job. But as a professional piece of media, something you can actually make money off of... it's not gonna happen unless you spend more time in pre-production.
 
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Hi Mac. Thanks for watching the second episode. I see where you are coming from, and frankly, I disagree. i do however respect your opinion and at some level have thought the same thing at times. Since we're shooting only a couple episodes out, I'm taking this feedback with me into our pre-production meetings.

This has been an amazing experience so far, especially with how much improv we've been doing. The entire first day of filming, and part of every other day we shoot is improv. We fill in gaps in the story with scripted elements.

Moving into Episodes 3 and 4 however, our scripts have come a long way and we're getting our scripts more polished.

Also, we are not doing a mockumentary. We're shooting a TV show. It happens to be on the web and 6 minutes in length.

For an alternate take, see the review at New Tee Vee
 
I agree with some things MacV is saying, and disagree with others.

I agree about the lack of narrative. There really is none. We have a basic "There is going to be a play, but we don't have an ending yet!", that branches out into the writer wanting to screw everyone, the gay guy talking about quitting smoking, a flashback that is completely unnecessary, etc. Flashbacks can be great if used correctly. But I can't say they were used correctly here. The writing here does not have a general direction. Maybe in the grand scheme of things, there is a point to all of this. Maybe there is a decent story to be be uncovered. But thus far it's not showing at all. Random awkward encounters are not a story.

As much of a mess the narrative is, I think the characters are decently written, and the direction is more than workable.

The photography is great. Didn't really have any problems with it.

Improv can be great sometimes. It isn't here. It's just not logical. Every scene, every event, every word spoken should be an important aspect of moving the story forward. Whether it be introducing plot elements, building tension, emphasizing a point etc. When you add improv to the mix, you are basically taking the steering wheel out of the writer's hands, and giving it to the actors. You are also unnecessarily lengthening scene, which is especially bad given how short your episodes are. Like MacV said, it's insanely easy to notice which scenes were improvised and which weren't. If the improvisation was taken out, and the writing was focused, a lot more could be accomplished with the 5 or so minutes an episode lasts. Unfortunately even without the improvisation the writing is directionless.

I've watched two episodes so far, and I already have a strong feel for the format of the show. Start off with a scene that looks like an advancement in plot, but really accomplishes nothing, and go on to 4 minutes of improv, where the characters act awkward around each other.

One thing I really disagree on with Mac, is that this show really IS funny. I laughed out loud several times. Maybe because I do theater at my College. I found some of the situations really funny. But comedy is a very subjective thing. I will say however, it wasn't the improv that I found funny. It was the actual situations. It was the disfunctional theater dynamic. I really think this show could do without improv. At the very least, the writing needs to be a A LOT more focused.

I understand how hard it is to write webisodes. In fact, my current project is an online sitcom type (with much lower production qualities than yours ;)). I am having a lot of the same problems as your writers are having. It's very hard to have a plot driven show in bitesized episodes, especially in comedy. But that doesn't mean that we can't try ;)
 
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