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watch Dreamer A Short Film

Abaci_Productions

Abaci_Productions

Howdy all!

Just finished up a short film. I entered it at www.filmfights.com but it was pushed to the middleweight division for being a "solid contender with a couple of flaws". Problem is..they don't tell you what they think the flaws are. I don't want to make a big deal about it on the site so I thought I would post it here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lNDP_Zf5V0

Great thing about this site is that no punches get pulled and the feedback is not only honest but tends to be good! Please give me whatever feedback you can.

I discovered that doing a monologue with two separate angles is a nightmare when you start editing! (probably should have used 2 cameras but we were worried since they aren't the same models) I also played hell trying to get it into the 2 minute restriction. I guess I was a bit ambitious about my abilities and think that if I had cut it longer it would have flowed better.

Thanks for viewing and if you wouldn't mind, please go to the filmfights website and complain that it's not in the heavywieghts! There's a cookie in it for you!

Pat

PS: Tried to embed the video...searched the site but couldn't find anything that would help. Anyone have a cheat sheet for embedding? Thanks
 
Ha ha ha... that was a good ending.

Not sure if it was intentional or not, but the "wig" he's talking to changes around a bit. It's very full in the early stages, but changes around 1:28 and 1:37 into the film. The latter is most noticeable.

There are some minor sound differences when switching viewpoints. One of them was right on, but others were a little bit off.

That was all I noticed. Good job.
 
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The "wig" is the actress. He needed someone to help him get into character. No kidding, that's the actress that played his wife later on!

Thanks for the comments though....much appreciated.
 
I would have to also say the sound and the wig are the two reasons why this was bumped to middleweight.

But, the acting was pretty good, the dialogue was great, and the ending was perfect.

Really good job.
 
First up, your lead actor was very good... totally committed to the part, and very convincing. No complaints there.

Otherwise, same comments as most people I think....the synch is a killer and hollow sound can really cheapen a movie. Getting the mic a little closer, or even post dubbing could have gone a long way towards fixing this. Also, the profile shot didn't do anything for me, there was a little too much dead space. Possibly a bigger variety of shotsizes and angles rather than just the two could have helped, with just the two shots, the scene felt a little predictable.

Still, it was a nice idea. I actually expected him to be talking to a wig on a fake head, like he was practicing for when his wife got home :)
 
Soooooo...I opened this project back up, made some refinements and went to re-encode it.

Funny thing happened on the way to Adobe Media Encoder.......I accidentally encoded this at 60FPS....seems to me that I had the synch down fine to begin with.

Oh well, you live, you learn and there's no excuses for making such a mistake. On a side note though, if you are using Premiere, ensure that you don't "scroll" too much or you'll end up with a 60FPS film! Seems once you hit the bottom it will scroll inside a selection window and you may end up not noticing.
 
HanSagan said:
First up, your lead actor was very good... totally committed to the part, and very convincing. No complaints there.

Otherwise, same comments as most people I think....the synch is a killer and hollow sound can really cheapen a movie. Getting the mic a little closer, or even post dubbing could have gone a long way towards fixing this. Also, the profile shot didn't do anything for me, there was a little too much dead space. Possibly a bigger variety of shotsizes and angles rather than just the two could have helped, with just the two shots, the scene felt a little predictable.

Still, it was a nice idea. I actually expected him to be talking to a wig on a fake head, like he was practicing for when his wife got home :)
Click to expand...

If you would please explain "hollow sound" to me. I know I had echo problems as I filmed this in a fairly large kitchen, dining room, living room "all in one" but I'm not sure that's what you were referring to or if there's something else that I need to fix (say in my settings on the recorder or the location of the mic).

Thanks for the feedback. I am always happy to receive it.

Amazing how much you can learn or how much you realize you didn't notice the first time just by getting other people's perspectives.
 
I watched this and forgot to comment but I really liked it. It was funny and the ending was first class.

There were certain continuity problems in the dialogue recording given that the sound levels jumped around a bit and I found it hard to believe that this was one, single conversation, but all the same it worked quite nicely (especially in the context of it being a fantasy where continuity doesn't really apply).

Well done :)
 
Hah! That's awesome. Your lead sells it, and the ending is terrific.

I don't think having only two angles is a problem. I think it's a problem that those two angles aren't different enough from each other. If I were limited to two shots, I would probably do an over-the-shoulder close-up, and a medium-wide profile. Regardless of the particulars, they need to be much more different than they are.
 
Cracker...we weren't limited to two shots. Chalk that up to inexperience.

I agree with you and will add that this film never would have made it off the ground if not for our lead. Proble is he just flaked out on us for the next project. Shot it yesterday, wanted to start at 9 in the morning, didn't find out until our DP went to dudes house that he wasn't planning on coming out.

Won't be using him again though it's tempting.
 
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