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Difficulties on describing specific forms of emotions in scripts

Not all emotions can be described through dialogue. I've reached an impasse in which I want to show certain emotions through action sequences but if I intent to do so, I'll need detailed and elaborate scene descriptions ( with Directing notes like CU, Tracking,..). Which takes both a bulk of the scene ( and leaves a small room for dialogue ) and demands unnecessary directing terms (which professionals caution against). On the other hand I can describe some of those emotions through dialogue, but the complicated nature of these emotions demands heavy dialogue which again is something not looked for by people. What is the solution here?
 
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Always have in mind that you are writing for the viewers of your movie, not for the readers of your script. If the viewer can't understand an emotion of an actor through their face and body expressions then you can't describe that emotion further.
Either way I believe that you do can "describe" any emotion simply! Give an example if you want.

I like to use a trick! Purpose that a producer says to you "describe that emotion properly and simply and I'll buy your script for 1.000.000"... the mind instantly clears ?
 
Always have in mind that you are writing for the viewers of your movie, not for the readers of your script. If the viewer can't understand an emotion of an actor through their face and body expressions then you can't describe that emotion further.
Either way I believe that you do can "describe" any emotion simply! Give an example if you want.

I like to use a trick! Purpose that a producer says to you "describe that emotion properly and simply and I'll buy your script for 1.000.000"... the mind instantly clears ?

For example a bunch of people are standing in a line facing something we can not see. Then the camera needs to track ( directing note ) on each of these individual's faces and show different expressions by each face. Or the camera is on a close up on somebody's face laughing at something we can not see. The CAMERA moves further back and reveals what he is laughing at. Now The problem is for me to describe these situations I need to use directing terms which professionals caution against. People say a good script should be able to stand on it's own and should not use directing notes or "we" as part of the scene descriptions.
 
EXT. LINE - DAY
A bunch of people are standing in a line looking straight.
One of them is staring suprised, another one behind him is terrified while a boy in front of them is laughing so much that even his eyebrows seem laughing.

EXT. OPPOSITE THE LINE (WHATEVER) - DAY
Describe what they see

Describing them one by one force the director to show them one by one.

Describing something in a bit more detailed way than the usual (eyebrows) force the director to do a close up. (You don't write CU, you just describe what the VIEWER would see if there would take place a CU. - that's a trick I came up with, in a desperate day trying to avoid the letters CU while a CU was essential for the story :yes:)

As for the camera moving further back to reveal, or how the camera will move from actor to actor in the line, or any movement of the camera... just relax, it's not your job as a writer.
 
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As for the camera moving further back to reveal, or how the camera will move from actor to actor in the line, or any movement of the camera... just relax, it's not your job as a writer.
I know that's the responsibility of the director ,that's the problem! Directing is a form of story telling for itself. That camera moving further back to reveal the rest of the room or whatever the guy is looking at is part of that "Shock" or "Surprise" I want to show as an emotion. Without the camera movement the scene looses it's whole purpose. That revelation is what I'm going for here. Adding an element of mystery and rising the reader's curiosity is my goal. I want the reader say : what the f is he seeing that his expressions change like that?!

And for those people in line , their expressions aren't steady. Their face mimic is subject to constant change during the course of 10 seconds. So I can't just say one looks surprised while the other looks ... . And aside from that there is lots of body language in this scene that defines the motivation of the characters. All these variables together take up a lot of page and directing terms. This specific scene reads more like a novel but with directing notes. As I said not all emotions can be described through mere dialogue.
 
Describing something in a bit more detailed way than the usual (eyebrows) force the director to do a close up. (You don't write CU, you just describe what the VIEWER would see if there would take place a CU. - that's a trick I came up with, in a desperate day trying to avoid the letters CU while a CU was essential for the story :yes:)

That's a good trick :thumbsup:
 
"...is part of that "Shock" or "Surprise" I want to show as an emotion." It is NOT your job to show. You have the movie in your mind and it loses power when you translate it to words on a paper. That's a sacrifice you have to do as a writer and hope that the director will be as good as you...

If you don't do that sacrifice, your script will be powerful and great but no studio will buy it. Follow the rules. Cinema is not something too important to worry so much, we have invented it, it's a game. Smile and follow the rules.

(There are always great ways to describe properly anything, keep studding)
 
"...is part of that "Shock" or "Surprise" I want to show as an emotion." It is NOT your job to show. You have the movie in your mind and it loses power when you translate it to words on a paper. That's a sacrifice you have to do as a writer and hope that the director will be as good as you...

If you don't do that sacrifice, your script will be powerful and great but no studio will buy it. Follow the rules. Cinema is not something too important to worry so much, we have invented it, it's a game. Smile and follow the rules.

(There are always great ways to describe properly anything, keep studding)

U r right. I guess that's one of the reasons I've decided to become a filmmaker rather than just a writer.
 
What is the solution here?
There are several solutions here; Panos offered some good ones.
But it seems to me you are more interested in camera moves and
specific shots than you are in writing a script.

U r right. I guess that's one of the reasons I've decided to become a filmmaker rather than just a writer.
I think that's a good decision. The examples you gave are quite
easy to describe without camera angles but you can't see the way
because you already have very specific shots in mind.

My advice; write it the way you see it as the director. Get it all
down on paper. If sometime in the future you want to show the
script to a producer or fellow writer take the time to rewrite a
draft without the camera notes. It's never bad to have both versions
for someone who want to be a writer/director.
 
There are several solutions here; Panos offered some good ones.
But it seems to me you are more interested in camera moves and
specific shots than you are in writing a script.


I think that's a good decision. The examples you gave are quite
easy to describe without camera angles but you can't see the way
because you already have very specific shots in mind.

My advice; write it the way you see it as the director. Get it all
down on paper. If sometime in the future you want to show the
script to a producer or fellow writer take the time to rewrite a
draft without the camera notes. It's never bad to have both versions
for someone who want to be a writer/director.

Yes I've figured I do that. Can u please give me an example on " The camera moves back to reveal the rest of the room and the things the guy is looking at" without using the camera movement? Something that exactly shows what I'm going for here but without the camera movement.

PS : This camera slowly moving back is used to convey a gradual sense of revelation rather than an instant one.
 
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Yes I've figured I do that. Can u please give me an example on " The camera moves back to reveal the rest of the room and the things the guy is looking at" without using the camera movement? Something that exactly shows what I'm going for here but without the camera movement.
You are right. To do the scene exactly as you want it on screen
the only way is to describe how the camera moves. The job of
the director. That means you cannot follow the standard screenplay
advice of no camera directions – you must tell not show.

There are ways to suggest what you want but then a director
may not see it the way you do. So you must write in the camera
directions. You know that creates issues when showing your
screenplay to others. Since you are going to direct this movie
the standard screenplay advice may not apply to you.
 
Since you are going to direct this movie
the standard screenplay advice may not apply to you.

Well even if one day I will be able to direct this one it needs to go through a producer first. So I need to learn the standard script format. Now with that in mind is there a way I can write this specific scene without camera angles? All I want is that gradual revelation. I can work around everything else.
 
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