archived-videos Critique Wanted on Short Sci-Fi Thriller!!

When some of our sound experts see this they'll critique it better ,but the audio was not good .

Overall even though there was not that much of a story there is something that I really enjoyed about the short :) .
 
ok, so i didnt really think it was sci fi ish until the ending kind of.

now for the film, the acting was 5/10, sound cant judge coz listening through laptop speakers.

the story, well i like the concept of it, but not what you did.

so it leaves me in a dilemma, i like it for what it can become, but i dislike what you have done for it now.

I really would love for you to re-write the whole thing with a better storyline, i can really feel the potential there, also the props.. change the props, if your feeling adventurous i found a great product called worbla which you could look into and make props etc out of it.

so its up to you really what you want to do? this isnt an amazing short, id say its 3/10, potentially its 8-9/10 for me anyway.

also did you use 30fps? coz i didnt like the feel of this was too clean cut.
 
Nice concept. I like the ambiguous feel of the music.

The general 'feel' of the film could be improved a lot with some simple post-production sound techniques.

Most notably, there are unnatural changes in background noise that accompany the shot changes, for example at around 1.12. This stuff can be 'smoothed out' quite easily with a basic 'atmos' tracklay - e.g. some room tone, a bit of traffic noise from outside, maybe some birds outside the window - to give a consistent feel to the environment. (It's good practice to record some 'silence' in your filming environment to use for this purpose.)

Also, some spot sound effects would help: for example, the final shot of the biro scoring out the stuff on the paper would be alot more powerful if we also heard the entry on the list being casually scratched out.

A short like this, which isn't dialogue-heavy, is a prime candidate for interesting sound design, and you'd be amazed at how much slicker it will make things feel!
 
We did use 24fps. And yes I agree about the props! I really didn't want to use that remote but unfortunately I didn't have access to anything else at the time.

Thanks for the feedback!
8salacious9 said:
ok, so i didnt really think it was sci fi ish until the ending kind of.

now for the film, the acting was 5/10, sound cant judge coz listening through laptop speakers.

the story, well i like the concept of it, but not what you did.

so it leaves me in a dilemma, i like it for what it can become, but i dislike what you have done for it now.

I really would love for you to re-write the whole thing with a better storyline, i can really feel the potential there, also the props.. change the props, if your feeling adventurous i found a great product called worbla which you could look into and make props etc out of it.

so its up to you really what you want to do? this isnt an amazing short, id say its 3/10, potentially its 8-9/10 for me anyway.

also did you use 30fps? coz i didnt like the feel of this was too clean cut.
Click to expand...
 
You know what...I just noticed that at 1.12!!! I agree the more I listen to it the more I see where the room tone is inconsistent in some places.

As far as the background noises I definitely see what you're saying there. I was however playing with the idea that the house was just an empty, lonely chasm this man who created these robots lived in. That was the main reason why I only had the music for the background noise and nothing else, I was shooting for the quietness. But I guess I'll just have to see if that really worked or not!

Thanks for the feedback though, sound in my films is something I'm really trying to improve on.
mikemcguill said:
Nice concept. I like the ambiguous feel of the music.

The general 'feel' of the film could be improved a lot with some simple post-production sound techniques.

Most notably, there are unnatural changes in background noise that accompany the shot changes, for example at around 1.12. This stuff can be 'smoothed out' quite easily with a basic 'atmos' tracklay - e.g. some room tone, a bit of traffic noise from outside, maybe some birds outside the window - to give a consistent feel to the environment. (It's good practice to record some 'silence' in your filming environment to use for this purpose.)

Also, some spot sound effects would help: for example, the final shot of the biro scoring out the stuff on the paper would be alot more powerful if we also heard the entry on the list being casually scratched out.

A short like this, which isn't dialogue-heavy, is a prime candidate for interesting sound design, and you'd be amazed at how much slicker it will make things feel!
Click to expand...
 
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