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critique critique on my first 10 pages.

M

max70

Hello, i finished my first 10 pages of my first draft. I'd appreciate your feedback, actually I wrote 35 pages but I want to know if my first 10 are going the right direction, thanks. I attached it, hopefully I did this right.
 

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Hey Max, I read it.
Are you sure you're ready for a critique of this piece? Normally I wouldn't crit a first draft of anything mainly because NOBODY should post their first draft. You have misspellings and LOTS of passive sentences, misplaced modifiers and bad formatting. I was always taught to never let anyone see anything but your best effort. So maybe you'd like to go over this a couple more times and then try again?
 
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