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critique Critique for a new HORROR movie outline - INNER SANCTUM

Hi all,

So I am just finishing up my ROMANCE webtoons series REBECCA'S LADDER so what better way to follow it up than with a HORROR story :)

==================================
WEBTOON DESCRIPTION
==================================
INNER SANCTUM - Jacob is a troubled teenager
who is bullied at school and mistreated at home.
To escape his hardships, Jacob loses himself in the
dark and hard-edged lyrics and music of his
favorite death metal band, INNER SANCTUM.

Laced with demonic imagery and death, the lyrics
seem to speak to the troubled youth who tries to
make sense of the cruel and ugly world around him.

Jacob's anguish and anger spill over as words
scribbled furiously over his notebook, hoping that
someday he will be able to share his dark material
with his idols. When the walls around the troubled
loner begin to crumble, he thinks about ending it all
but a chance to meet INNER SANCTUM at an
autograph session stops him.

And then it happens. He comes face to face with
Soul Crusher, the band's front man. JACOB hands
over his notebook to him and everything changes...

But is it for the better or worse?

Would love any feedback on the outline and opening scene of the screenplay.
Any cool ideas or suggestions are welcome.

Thank you!
 

Attachments

  • inner sanctum outline.pdf
    52 KB · Views: 56
  • INNER SANCTUM.pdf
    3.4 KB · Views: 53
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