To color balance: set your white point with the eyedropper tool in your 3-way color corrector to a known white point (use a clapper board at the beginning of every shot in your production with the white and black bars on top). Then set the black point to the black part of the reference.... make sure you find a frame for this step where the reference is lit by your key light only so that any on set filtration you're doing stays the same (unless you're coloring the key for effect).
Then adjust the levels so your videoscopes (you're using your scopes... right?) hit your pure white points at 100% and not over -- and your blacks at 0% and not under.
Crop your frame to just the actor's face: adjust your mids (gamma) to place that portion at 85% for lighter skin, 65% for darker skin and use the vector scope to place the colors of the mids onto the "Flesh Line." Then undo the crop. Your picture will be BALANCED at that point, mathematically, not by eye.
From there, push it, pull it, wreck it, return it... whatever, but you'll be able to take the grade and move it from shot to shot and know it'll work every single time as the first step makes the shots match, even if they're shot on different days and with slightly different exposures or whatever. The flesh tones will be starting healthy looking and give a good, clean palette upon which to paint.