watch Another Cell Phone Monologue - Please Critique/Bash/Compliment

[dmontgom]

Hey everyone, I'm back here with another short cell phone monologue that I put together with another friend from acting class. This story is actually tied in to the last one I posted up here. I'm hoping to get some thoughts, opinions, etc.

This was filmed this past Friday evening at a hotel with an actress friend of mine from my first acting class that I took early last year.

Quick gear rundown for anyone curious:
Camera GH1 w/55mm vintage prime F1.4 & 14mm Panasonic Pancake F2.5
Tascam DR40 w/Avantone CK1 mic (propped up as high and far out in front of my camera as I could get it... 1 man crew, so no boom op )

Anyway, here's how it came out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jg57V8vIVjQ

I have my thoughts (good and bad) on this, but I was curious to see what others thought. Don't be shy, I've got thick skin.

 

[sonnyboo]

I dug it. The framing gets a little too much headroom in the middle, but it's not too bad.

 

[rayw]

There's a current thread going on about the Tascam DR40:
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=52209

Have you any input to share on the device?


Shots look nice except for the one split between the 1:11 - 1:51 and 2:46 - 3:06 marks.
It looks like a typical/cliché/classic nube-cam shot.
I don't know the math as to why it looks bad, but it does.
The rest look great, though!

Her voice is a little echo-ey in that space.
Anything you wanted to do about that but couldn't? Change of direction towards another wall or space?
Recognized it on the scene, but "too bad, so sad" that's what you had to deal with?
Or did it not really sound that way while you were recording it?

Also, what process did you use to sync the DR40 audio with the GH1 video?

 

[Sethward]

cool stuff, is this a series?

 

[dmontgom]

cool stuff, is this a series?

Thanks. This is a mini-series of sorts. I'm just getting started (and off to a slow start due to my real life job getting in the way). I got the idea for the cell phone monologue from Sonnyboo. They're a great way (for me anyway) to work on honing my skills. I've got a total of 5 planned (2 completed, 3 to go).

Thanks for the input guys. The headroom issue was also an issue with the shot that Ray didn't like, but I cropped that shot down a little bit... the issue I had with the one you're referring to that still has too much headroom was that I couldn't crop it down much for fear of running in to resolution issues. In hindsight I should have cropped it down at least a little.

Ray, in regards to that shot you didn't like... I didn't love it either once I got it on my computer, but it's what I had to work with... I felt I needed the shot with the clock to illustrate the time lapse from when she flopped on the bed in frustration to the time she sat up and made the call. I think the problem I had with the shot was a combination of iffy lighting (I shoulda used the orange diffuser) and a lens that just doesn't look as good as my vintage prime. But that's just my take on it.

I love the DR40, but that was my first time using it. I went and checked out that thread you posted and I noticed another user reported a weird noise, which was fixed with a replacement XLR cable. I too ran in to that issue, so I'm relieved to know an XLR cable swap should fix that. Most of it sounded great, except for a few of those stray noises. Overall I'm really pleased with the DR40 so far.

The echo-ey sound didn't come through my headphones when filming, but I didn't really have any alternatives anyway (for no other reason except that I'm a noob and didn't plan for that). Shooting facing any other direction wouldn't have allowed me to shoot some of the other angles due to the layout of the room. Next time I'll be sure to have some materials on hand to treat the room for sound. Live and learn, right?

Overall I'm pretty happy with the improvement I've made over the last one, but obviously I still have much to do to get better at this.

Anyone else wishing to provide input feel free to do so, don't let my longwinded post get in the way... it may look like I think I know it all, but I sure as hell don't.

 

[rayw]

Live and learn, right?
Amen!
Hi-5!
School of hard knocks has some kind of... "alternative" tuition, eh?!

Overall I'm pretty happy with the improvement I've made over the last one, but obviously I still have much to do to get better at this.

Oh, definite improvement.
Congrats.

We'll keep watching them!​

 

[ChimpPhobiaFilms]

So much improvement from the last. Although there are a few things I'm not a fan of.

The audio didn't sound great.
You could have cut out the opening and started with the phone call.
Some shots are not very well lit.
The color grading looks 'off' in some shots.
Those lights in the background look like there's a pink tint, as well as overexposed.
Like Sonnyboo said, there's a bit too much headroom about 1/2 in.
I didn't like the transition to the credits. Perhaps the screen goes black, then there's a booming noise, then you start the credits.

Although I liked the concept, some of the cinematography, the writing, and it overall was better paced and told than your last one.

Keep it up

 

[dmontgom]

So much improvement from the last. Although there are a few things I'm not a fan of.

The audio didn't sound great.
You could have cut out the opening and started with the phone call.
Some shots are not very well lit.
The color grading looks 'off' in some shots.
Those lights in the background look like there's a pink tint, as well as overexposed.
Like Sonnyboo said, there's a bit too much headroom about 1/2 in.
I didn't like the transition to the credits. Perhaps the screen goes black, then there's a booming noise, then you start the credits.

Although I liked the concept, some of the cinematography, the writing, and it overall was better paced and told than your last one.

Keep it up

Thanks for all the input! My goal is to keep getting better every time. So far so good.

The lighting was tricky because of the different color temps of different light sources (room lighting + my lighting)... This lead to some odd lighting and unfortunately some difficulty color grading. One of the many things for me to work on with the next one. I need some CTO and CTB filters in the near future for my light kit.

About the opening though, part of that was to illustrate the fact she was waiting and waiting... I had to try to walk that line between "hey look, a bored woman in lingerie, who is growing impatient" and "hurry the *@!# up and get on with the story!" I cut a LOT out just to hurry up to the part where she flopped down on the bed.