watch An Epic in Greeley - Too drawn out?

[HalfNakedRodeo]

Epic by youtube standards

I was really surprised that this one passed the ten minute mark.

We forgot to shoot a lot of key lines during production so I had to edit around conversations and cheesily narrate the story in order to convey info, which included adding a lot of unnecessary scenes to give the narrations time. Nonetheless, I'm pretty proud of the product. Let me know if there is anything that doesn't make sense, or more importantly if the video has trouble keeping your attention (or any other constructive criticism, of course).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5w0mpOJGsI

Thanks!

 

[jrsmithson]

-frisbee scene-really artfully shot, slow mo, ect.
-@1:25 the camera seems shaky, could be a little more
-@2:20 a lot of muck on the lens
-@2:39 is that blood or red smoke?
-@3:53 the voice sounds "roomy"
-@3:53 I like the halo effect the light has on the knife and Ryan
-lightsaber effect looks good
@4:56 cinematography like this looks jittery
@9:20 looks like a jump cut
-@11:39 fire disappears abruptly(intentional?)
- I think the V.O. is really effective and well-timed
I feel like the intro of David could be a little longer, more detailed. I don't know if it's too drawn out, it does feel a little long, maybe the "road trip" shots could be cut a little, and some of the shots seem like they could have a few seconds shaved off, which would reduce the film length. It has a "fan-film-y" feel to it. David could face more challenges, as it is he basically kills a few people and then, well I won't ruin it for the rest, but there could be more conflict for the main protagonist. Besides that it seems like a good production IMO.