About an effect in a screenplay

[victortiti89]

I thought about inserting a kind of symbolic effect which would go like this:
A) When the hero's cab drives him to his destination:
" The taxi cuts through the empty roadway. As he passes by them, the street lights go out one at a time."
B)When the hero escapes and is brought back with an ambulance:
" The ambulance slices the night through the empty street. One by one, as the ambulance passes by them, the street lights are lit, each shinning the path. "
What do you think about this idea? Please suggest a better way of writing this! Thanks for reading!

 

[mad_hatter]

Think about the scene, allow it to play out in your head. What do you see? Write that, only that, down.

What you've written seems ok to me. What you're trying to describe, the street lights going out, one at a time, as the car passes by, is quite a simple idea. It's symbolism is irrelevant, it should become obvious through other elements of the story. So, as you write it, don't worry about trying to explain the symbolism, just write what the viewer would see on screen.

Good Luck!

 

[geckopelli]

I thought about inserting a kind of symbolic effect which would go like this:
A) When the hero's cab drives him to his destination:
" The taxi cuts through the empty roadway. As he passes by them, the street lights go out one at a time."
B)When the hero escapes and is brought back with an ambulance:
" The ambulance slices the night through the empty street. One by one, as the ambulance passes by them, the street lights are lit, each shinning the path. "
What do you think about this idea? Please suggest a better way of writing this! Thanks for reading!

It's a tried and true device. See a thousand movies made in the 1930's-40's.

You can write it as an Action element,

EXT. ROAD - NIGHT

Lit by a string of Streetlights.

Jack's car cruises along the empty street. As the car passes them, one-by-one, the Streetlights turn off.

or you can do what I would do and write it as an elemental shot

EXT. ROAD - NIGHT

Lit by a string of Streetlights.

Jack's car cruises along the empty street. As the car passes them, one-by-one

THE STREETLIGHTS TURN OFF

Personally, I think the latter is more dramatic a read and easier on the eye (I WANT MY WHITE SPACE!).