J
JulianWells
Guest
I just wrote this. I try to rely on dialogue to tell the story, something I have never done before. Any suggestions will help.
“a better hope”
Fade In:
INT. Bedroom. Night.
Shot of a male(BANE) and a woman(ANGEL) sleeping. A second goes by, and BANE wakes up, startled. He slowly gets up, pausing, the gets out of the bed, as the camera follows him out of the room. He walks into a living room, and turns on a lamp. He walks into another doorway, and the camera pans over to a man (SEAN) sitting in a chair. BANE walks back into the room.
BANE
Who the hell are you?
SEAN
The name’s Sean, but my friends call me Spike. You, although, are not my friend, Bane.
BANE
How did you get in here?
SEAN
Oh I get around.
BANE
I’m calling the cops.
BANE picks up a phone.
SEAN
I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
BANE starts dialing. SEAN looks annoyed. He nods his head, and the phone is pulled from BANE’S hands, and thrown onto the couch by an unseen force.
SEAN
Sit down.
BANE
How the hell did you do that?
SEAN
(irritated)
Sit. Down.
BANE sits down.
BANE
Why are you here?
SEAN
Stop asking so many damn questions.
BANE
What the hell do you expect?
SEAN
Cheering, applause, maybe a parade.
BANE
Who are you?
SEAN
First, you need to keep in mind that all the things you heard as a kid were true.
BANE
Who…are you?
SEAN
Vampires, werewolves, witches, demons… angels. All real. And all very much looking forward to meet you and your little cutie in there.
BANE
Who are you?!
SEAN lunges up, and grabs BANE by the throat.
SEAN
Stop asking questions.
SEAN lets go of BANE.
SEAN
To answer your question, I am an angel. A fallen angel. I was sent here by my employer.
BANE
God?
SEAN
No, you nitwit. God doesn’t control things down here. Well, he doesn’t anymore. This world was all his. A special place for his favorite creation. Man. But you messed it all up. The world was given a choice, and the world chose evil.
BANE
And what does that have to do with you?
SEAN
God sent down a group of angels to win the world over again. They were here for one day, and your kind killed them. Every bloody last one of them.
BANE
How can a man kill an angel?
SEAN
Angels on earth don’t have any special powers. They turn into mortals.
BANE
Then how do have powers?
SEAN
I… once batted for the other side.
BANE
You worked for…
SEAN
… Satan, yes. And in return he restored all of my angelic powers.
BANE
What does this all have to do with me?
SEAN
Your girl. Angel. Do you ever wonder where she goes at night?
BANE
How do you know about that?
SEAN
Oh, c’mon. I’m an angel. I see all.
(Beat.)
That, and I’ve been watching you for the past week. But that’s besides the point. Your girl is not what she seems.
BANE
She’s an angel?
SEAN
Hardly. No, actually, I don’t know what she is. She maybe a vampire, or she maybe a demon. But what I do know is, she’s causing a bit of a stir. Up there, and down there. She’s planning something big. And she can not be trusted.
BANE
Were you sent here to…kill her?
SEAN
I’m just a spectator. Well, I was. Fallen angels run this world. I’m just here to see what she’s up to. See what the big leagues are worried about.
BANE
But if she’s a vampire or a demon, wouldn’t I know?
SEAN
Like I said, demons on the middle ground have no power. You couldn’t tell a demon from a teenager. As for vampires, she could be hiding it from you. Have you ever seen her eat raw meat?
BANE
How do I know for sure?
SEAN
Oh when the time comes, you’ll know what she is.
BANE
Why do you suppose I do?
SEAN
Well, she can’t be good. And she can’t be bad. Unless God or Satan is faking it, to throw the other one off. What I suggest you do, Bane, is find out for sure.
BANE
How do I do that?
SEAN
Kill her.
BANE
What? I can’t do that.
SEAN
The world is at stake.
BANE
You just said you didn’t know if she poses a threat.
SEAN
God is worried. The dark master is worried. Whether one of them is faking is besides the point. If she is one of Satan’s henchmen, if she succeeds in her mission, Heaven will be destroyed. Hell will come to earth. And if she fails, there is a chance of Hell being destroyed.
BANE
Isn’t that good thing?
SEAN
Despite what you know, Lucifer’s actually a quite nice guy. He treats his people right. And the world can not exist without choice. Choice between good and evil. The world can only exist if Heaven and Hell both exist. The scale has to be equal.
BANE
So I have to kill Angel?
SEAN
I’m going to leave that up to you.
SEAN gets up from his seat, and walks towards the door.
BANE
How will I know what to do?
SEAN
Follow your heart. But remember. The world is on the line. All your friends and family members. They can all be wiped out.
SEAN walks out the door. BANE walks through a doorway, then comes back, carrying a knife. He walks towards the bedroom. Cut to:
EXT. Downtown. Night.
SEAN walks out a door, onto the sidewalk. He looks around. We hear a woman scream. SEAN smiles, takes out a pair of sunglasses, and puts them on.
SEAN
People on this world are so gullible.
SEAN walks off. Fade to black. The End.
“a better hope”
Fade In:
INT. Bedroom. Night.
Shot of a male(BANE) and a woman(ANGEL) sleeping. A second goes by, and BANE wakes up, startled. He slowly gets up, pausing, the gets out of the bed, as the camera follows him out of the room. He walks into a living room, and turns on a lamp. He walks into another doorway, and the camera pans over to a man (SEAN) sitting in a chair. BANE walks back into the room.
BANE
Who the hell are you?
SEAN
The name’s Sean, but my friends call me Spike. You, although, are not my friend, Bane.
BANE
How did you get in here?
SEAN
Oh I get around.
BANE
I’m calling the cops.
BANE picks up a phone.
SEAN
I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
BANE starts dialing. SEAN looks annoyed. He nods his head, and the phone is pulled from BANE’S hands, and thrown onto the couch by an unseen force.
SEAN
Sit down.
BANE
How the hell did you do that?
SEAN
(irritated)
Sit. Down.
BANE sits down.
BANE
Why are you here?
SEAN
Stop asking so many damn questions.
BANE
What the hell do you expect?
SEAN
Cheering, applause, maybe a parade.
BANE
Who are you?
SEAN
First, you need to keep in mind that all the things you heard as a kid were true.
BANE
Who…are you?
SEAN
Vampires, werewolves, witches, demons… angels. All real. And all very much looking forward to meet you and your little cutie in there.
BANE
Who are you?!
SEAN lunges up, and grabs BANE by the throat.
SEAN
Stop asking questions.
SEAN lets go of BANE.
SEAN
To answer your question, I am an angel. A fallen angel. I was sent here by my employer.
BANE
God?
SEAN
No, you nitwit. God doesn’t control things down here. Well, he doesn’t anymore. This world was all his. A special place for his favorite creation. Man. But you messed it all up. The world was given a choice, and the world chose evil.
BANE
And what does that have to do with you?
SEAN
God sent down a group of angels to win the world over again. They were here for one day, and your kind killed them. Every bloody last one of them.
BANE
How can a man kill an angel?
SEAN
Angels on earth don’t have any special powers. They turn into mortals.
BANE
Then how do have powers?
SEAN
I… once batted for the other side.
BANE
You worked for…
SEAN
… Satan, yes. And in return he restored all of my angelic powers.
BANE
What does this all have to do with me?
SEAN
Your girl. Angel. Do you ever wonder where she goes at night?
BANE
How do you know about that?
SEAN
Oh, c’mon. I’m an angel. I see all.
(Beat.)
That, and I’ve been watching you for the past week. But that’s besides the point. Your girl is not what she seems.
BANE
She’s an angel?
SEAN
Hardly. No, actually, I don’t know what she is. She maybe a vampire, or she maybe a demon. But what I do know is, she’s causing a bit of a stir. Up there, and down there. She’s planning something big. And she can not be trusted.
BANE
Were you sent here to…kill her?
SEAN
I’m just a spectator. Well, I was. Fallen angels run this world. I’m just here to see what she’s up to. See what the big leagues are worried about.
BANE
But if she’s a vampire or a demon, wouldn’t I know?
SEAN
Like I said, demons on the middle ground have no power. You couldn’t tell a demon from a teenager. As for vampires, she could be hiding it from you. Have you ever seen her eat raw meat?
BANE
How do I know for sure?
SEAN
Oh when the time comes, you’ll know what she is.
BANE
Why do you suppose I do?
SEAN
Well, she can’t be good. And she can’t be bad. Unless God or Satan is faking it, to throw the other one off. What I suggest you do, Bane, is find out for sure.
BANE
How do I do that?
SEAN
Kill her.
BANE
What? I can’t do that.
SEAN
The world is at stake.
BANE
You just said you didn’t know if she poses a threat.
SEAN
God is worried. The dark master is worried. Whether one of them is faking is besides the point. If she is one of Satan’s henchmen, if she succeeds in her mission, Heaven will be destroyed. Hell will come to earth. And if she fails, there is a chance of Hell being destroyed.
BANE
Isn’t that good thing?
SEAN
Despite what you know, Lucifer’s actually a quite nice guy. He treats his people right. And the world can not exist without choice. Choice between good and evil. The world can only exist if Heaven and Hell both exist. The scale has to be equal.
BANE
So I have to kill Angel?
SEAN
I’m going to leave that up to you.
SEAN gets up from his seat, and walks towards the door.
BANE
How will I know what to do?
SEAN
Follow your heart. But remember. The world is on the line. All your friends and family members. They can all be wiped out.
SEAN walks out the door. BANE walks through a doorway, then comes back, carrying a knife. He walks towards the bedroom. Cut to:
EXT. Downtown. Night.
SEAN walks out a door, onto the sidewalk. He looks around. We hear a woman scream. SEAN smiles, takes out a pair of sunglasses, and puts them on.
SEAN
People on this world are so gullible.
SEAN walks off. Fade to black. The End.