4 basic screenplay formatting questions

[Joe999]

I am a relative noob with screenwriting. I have written about a half dozen short films, and just recently completed a first draft of a feature screenplay (supernatural suspense thriller). So I am still learning, and I am confused on a few issues that have to do with formatting the screenplay (breaking up space, scene titles, etc). Any help greatly appreciated!

(1) When/how to break up paragraphs into smaller chunks, add white space? What should constitute a paragraph in a scene, when should a line break be added to break up a larger paragraph? Should a paragraph represent a single continuous camera shot, a single action or series of actions at one location by one actor, or something else?

(2) If a car with actors is driving along a road, and the script has dialog of actors in the car but also visuals of the scenery while they drive, is that an INT. CAR or is it an EXT. ROAD scene?

(3) Can someone give an example of passive writing in a scene, and how it should be changed to more active prose?

(4) An actor stands in the kitchen near the door looking into the living room, and the scene describes what the actors sees in the living room. Is the scene INT. KITCHEN or INT. LIVING ROOM? It is a POV shot but if spec script and not a shooting script how is the scene titled-- INT. KITCHEN or INT. LIVING ROOM?

 

[clive]

These answers aren't definitive... just the way I do it.

1) Paragraphs:

Shorter rather than longer. I tend to think of a paragraph as equating to a dramatic beat. I know that probably doesn't help, but basically if a character enters a room and goes to a reception desk... that's a unit of action. What happens between him and the receptionist is a new unit and therefore a new paragraph.

I break up paragraphs, by using "--" to break up the units into distinct actions. I also us it to control pace.
Long sentences equal a slow, leisurely pace -- short phrases -- broken into single actions -- speed things up.

2) INT/EXT: CLASSIC 69 MUSTANG ON ROUTE 66

or

INTERCUT:
IN THE CAR:
Bob keeps on eye on the road -- leans over the passenger seat -- searches through the litter on the floor
ON THE ROAD:
Betty-Lou pushes the baby buggy out onto the road
IN THE CAR:
Bob finds the GLOCK 9mm

3) Passive: any verb that ends "ing"

Betty-Lou is sitting on a stool, swinging her legs

Active

Betty-Lou perches on the edge of the stool -- swings her legs

4) INT: LIVING ROOM
Brad stands in the kitchen doorway -- stares at Betty-Lou

Hope this helps

 

[Joe999]

Thank you Clive, that helps. And am I right in thinking avoid "-ing" (passive) and try to stick to active verb forms/tense?)

These answers aren't definitive... just the way I do it.

1) Paragraphs:

Shorter rather than longer. I tend to think of a paragraph as equating to a dramatic beat. I know that probably doesn't help, but basically if a character enters a room and goes to a reception desk... that's a unit of action. What happens between him and the receptionist is a new unit and therefore a new paragraph.

I break up paragraphs, by using "--" to break up the units into distinct actions. I also us it to control pace.
Long sentences equal a slow, leisurely pace -- short phrases -- broken into single actions -- speed things up.

2) INT/EXT: CLASSIC 69 MUSTANG ON ROUTE 66

or

INTERCUT:
IN THE CAR:
Bob keeps on eye on the road -- leans over the passenger seat -- searches through the litter on the floor
ON THE ROAD:
Betty-Lou pushes the baby buggy out onto the road
IN THE CAR:
Bob finds the GLOCK 9mm

3) Passive: any verb that ends "ing"

Betty-Lou is sitting on a stool, swinging her legs

Active

Betty-Lou perches on the edge of the stool -- swings her legs

4) INT: LIVING ROOM
Brad stands in the kitchen doorway -- stares at Betty-Lou

Hope this helps

 

[knightly]

Most (all?) passive verbs are paired with a state of being verb. In the example above, Betty-Lou IS sitting. The is constitutes the actual verb in this sentence and the passive verb informs it (and ends with -ing).

So what you would be saying with that sentence is that "Betty-Lou is." I have had the passive/active problem in all of my writing, so I always search for state of being verbs (is/am/are - plus all of the past-tense stuff was/were) and generally find helper verbs riding shotgun that can be bumped to the forefront.

Passive voice and verb tense (shoots vs. shot) are my two biggest failings, so they have a separate pass for my editing in everything I do...I'm getting better.

 

[Joe999]

Are you sure "-ing" always implies passive (I am asking here, I do not mean this to come off as accusatory or sarcastic)? I found these web pages that seem to imply active/passive has more to do with subject, verb, object ordering:
http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/activepassive.html
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_actpass.html
http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/grammar/act-pass.htm

Most (all?) passive verbs are paired with a state of being verb. In the example above, Betty-Lou IS sitting. The is constitutes the actual verb in this sentence and the passive verb informs it (and ends with -ing).

So what you would be saying with that sentence is that "Betty-Lou is." I have had the passive/active problem in all of my writing, so I always search for state of being verbs (is/am/are - plus all of the past-tense stuff was/were) and generally find helper verbs riding shotgun that can be bumped to the forefront.

Passive voice and verb tense (shoots vs. shot) are my two biggest failings, so they have a separate pass for my editing in everything I do...I'm getting better.

 

[Joe999]

Damn straight! I am going through my first draft and repairing the verb tenses and voices, etc. and man oh man it is slow going!

...Passive voice and verb tense (shoots vs. shot) are my two biggest failings, so they have a separate pass for my editing in everything I do...I'm getting better.

 

[Joe999]

I just went through a dozen pages of Dark Water and highlighted subject+verb clauses and I must admit it was a quick and enlightening experience. 99% of the time the verb has no "-ing" ending, so there is something to that apparently (what my mentor and what Knightly said). For example, in Dark Water I see "Dahlia stares" rather than Dahlia is staring, and so on. So I am going to do my best to minimize if not almost entirely eliminate "-ing", certainly when the subject(s) are at or near the start of a sentence (where they generally should be, esp. if story characters).

 

[Unknown Screenwriter]

Are you sure "-ing" always implies passive (I am asking here, I do not mean this to come off as accusatory or sarcastic)? I found these web pages that seem to imply active/passive has more to do with subject, verb, object ordering:
http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/activepassive.html
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_actpass.html
http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/grammar/act-pass.htm

Joe999,

I don't have time to read the above and besides, I've read them or pages like them many times before...

Suffice to say...

Try to NEVER write action sentences like this:

Jack is running up the hill.

Instead use:

Jack races up the hill.

Which brings up another subject... Weak action verbs. Try to select the PERFECT action verb that gives us the actual VISUAL YOU want us to have while reading your script. Why use run when race gives us a better visual?

Another perfectly acceptable use of verbs with "ing" would be like this:

Running up the hill, Jill spots Jack's broken crown.

filmy

 

[knightly]

Note that it's all written in the present tense as well! That makes it more immediate to the reader and keeps them more engaged...which helps to sell the script (if not literally, than selling (developing an affinity for) the script to an actor or an investor whom you want for a project).

I just went through a dozen pages of Dark Water and highlighted subject+verb clauses and I must admit it was a quick and enlightening experience. 99% of the time the verb has no "-ing" ending, so there is something to that apparently (what my mentor and what Knightly said). For example, in Dark Water I see "Dahlia stares" rather than Dahlia is staring, and so on. So I am going to do my best to minimize if not almost entirely eliminate "-ing", certainly when the subject(s) are at or near the start of a sentence (where they generally should be, esp. if story characters).

 

[clive]

Most people write scripts in mainly passive voice.

There is a really good reason for this: when people write, they visualize the scene as if they were watching the movie... when they write, they write as if they were observing and reporting what they see.

This is the reason you find people drawn to expressions like "we see" or "we hear" ... and also passive verb use. This is because you can prefix passive verbs with the expression "we see..."

So, "We see Betty-Lou, sitting on the chair" "We see Brad picking his nose."

To make scripts read better, you have to take the reader closer to the reality of the world you're creating. This means writing as if the world of the scripts is unfolding in real time. The reader isn't a passive observer, but is actually in the world of the script.

The reason you do this, is because passive voice is tedious to read... and producers cast spec scripts aside, unless they hold the reader's attention. Active voice keeps the pace up and makes the script a faster read. All of which increase your chances of getting a sale.

 

[Joe999]

Well said . Your explanation makes sense to me, and it is what I am seeing as I go through some movie scripts and take notice of how they use "Jack runs..." and not "Jack is running", and yet I see the -ing tenses like the example you give. I think it is getting clearer, lots of work as a noob just learning how to do the grammar let alone come up with the story

...
Try to NEVER write action sentences like this:
Jack is running up the hill.
Instead use:
Jack races up the hill.
Which brings up another subject... Weak action verbs. Try to select the PERFECT action verb that gives us the actual VISUAL YOU want us to have while reading your script. Why use run when race gives us a better visual?
Another perfectly acceptable use of verbs with "ing" would be like this:
Running up the hill, Jill spots Jack's broken crown.

 

[Joe999]

Nicely said, thank you.

Most people write scripts in mainly passive voice. There is a really good reason for this: when people write, they visualize the scene as if they were watching the movie... when they write, they write as if they were observing and reporting what they see. This is the reason you find people drawn to expressions like "we see" or "we hear" ... and also passive verb use. This is because you can prefix passive verbs with the expression "we see..." So, "We see Betty-Lou, sitting on the chair" "We see Brad picking his nose." To make scripts read better, you have to take the reader closer to the reality of the world you're creating. This means writing as if the world of the scripts is unfolding in real time. The reader isn't a passive observer, but is actually in the world of the script. The reason you do this, is because passive voice is tedious to read... and producers cast spec scripts aside, unless they hold the reader's attention. Active voice keeps the pace up and makes the script a faster read. All of which increase your chances of getting a sale.