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  1. W

    critique Criticism much needed

    but i’ll take another look and fix it
  2. W

    critique Criticism much needed

    i was thinking of unusual suspects, where we don’t know he’s a blatant liar until the very end.
  3. W

    critique Criticism much needed

    yeah, i know now the flashbacks are tough to decipher. The last sequence of flashbacks is what really happened, the first flashbacks are a lie. that was to show how much of a loon tucker is. those are a lot of unanswered questions... ill get on it. How can i do flashbacks better lol?
  4. W

    critique Criticism much needed

    Make tesla guys death earner, you're right. at that death, the reader should feel like tesla guy sort of deserved to die, to get them on Tuckers side before he betrays them. nice!
  5. W

    critique Criticism much needed

    The Tesla interaction was pretty rushed I agree, I was based on that group of people that hate teslas and Tesla owners. I saw it in the news. They key'em, puncture the tires, etc. I guess I should show that he hates teslas, like a bumper sticker... or something. on Harley's murder, his death...
  6. W

    critique Criticism much needed

    Yo guys, This is my fourth draft of this story. I want to shoot it next year and want it to be airtight, Constructive criticism would be appreciated. Thank you
  7. W

    critique I wrote my first short film script, I NEED Critiques!

    Soooo I'm a writer in Houston Texas! This is really my very first screenplay. This is my second draft. Let me know what you think, feel free to let loose and give me hell. I need CRITIQUES On everything, structure, clear separation between acts, dialog flow, even spelling! Thank you for your...
  8. W

    logline Please read my longline!

    Awesome! Thank you for the knowledge! I will get on that and report back here later!
  9. W

    logline Please read my longline!

    Well, thank you for keeping it real with me and not sparing my feelings. I do appreciate that. I only did the longline first because Blake Snyder’s Save The Cat book said so. I’ll give that a try tho. Thank you
  10. W

    logline Please read my longline!

    I don’t know the relationships and I guess I don’t know much about the FBI. Just an idea that came to my head, and I wanted to get the opinions of It was the beginning of an idea. I don’t understand why you are coming at me like this.
  11. W

    logline Please read my longline!

    Yeah I don’t have much knowledge on either of them. I just read the chapter on long lines in the book save the cat and wanted to try out the first one that came to me. I knew it was heavily flawed from the jump, but I just wanted to see others opinions
  12. W

    logline Please read my longline!

    FBI agents go undercover. they are referred to as special agents.
  13. W

    New writer trying the gain knowledge

    Thank you very much for the knowledge
  14. W

    logline Please read my longline!

    Hey guys, this is a longline I just made for a feature im trying to write. its my first feature, and really my first time being critical about a longline like this. Please tell me what you think and what I should fix. -An Undercover FBI agent based in North Korea falls involve with a woman on...
  15. W

    New writer trying the gain knowledge

    interesting, thank you
  16. W

    New writer trying the gain knowledge

    hey, what kind of script should I write to start off, a short 10 pager? A full 110?
  17. W

    New member

    WELCOME!!!
  18. W

    logline Which One Sounds Interesting?

    #5 is kinda dope, and 6, and 1. I see them being cool af
  19. W

    Any on set unpaid internships in Houston?

    Id really like to see a project in action. I’m willing to euro fur free
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