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I've been thinking how to sort it out and maybe it should end with some sort of drama. The couple being strong enough to come out but one of their team members can not live with the idea. Eventually because the big gay hating team mate turned out to be in love with him as well ( and couldn't...

Welcome to my list, Soundtrack.

so you'd go on with the tea, xtc, then get back to the mindblowing person lines ( he could ask: but you're a fortune teller, so will my future be mindblowing as well, then it turns out she had also sipped from the xtc see and can no longer see the future so can we get to paying, he's like: you...

This is the follow up to it: Michael puts the gun on the table and sits down. ALICE Tea? MICHAEL Sure, can I have sugar with it? Alice grabs the tea-pot standing on the saloon table and poors some tea in a golden cup. She looks through a box and empties a small plastic bag ( with XTC label)...

I just had this flood of words in my mind to make the start a bit more exciting: ALICE Mr. Lewis, nice to meet you Alice shakes Michael's hand Michael Morning, Mrs. Parker, may I? Michael sits on the couch. ALICENo, You cannot have a seat MICHAEL Ouch, could you tell me why my ass hurts...

I do like your idea although it's a total different story from the initial one.

Or: her sessions could be extremely cheap but the herb is very expensive. She has a dealer selling her expensive drugs but she's too old to realize what she is purchasing. She thinks it has antidepressant properties. She's never tried it herself . She had only been selling it for a few days but...

I still haven't made the decision whether it's going to be a short film or not. Definitely more than ten minutes. Don't want it to be too boring. Good tip for letting the gay man save the soccer player ( who turns out to be at least bi but I don't want to label any of the characters). Maybe...

In the end, the most masculin macho earning millions comes out on court, jeopardizing his carreer after find out how his team mates have treated a guy before he was on the team. The man dressed up like a woman should look like: wow, is that a man? It's not supposed to be a drag queen movie.

Thanks, so he should enter the house and tell about a problem, why he would need a psychic. He wants her to reveal that his wife cheats on him. She gives him the tea ( after the introduction). She noticed he doesn't drink of it, she leaves the room to go and find het crystal ball, then he takes...

Thanks, very nice comments. I had my doubts about the start. I mean: a guy introducing himself to launch his own youtube channel. Maybe a better approach would be: a journalist from a soccer channel makes an interview on his obsession. Towards the end of the interview, his best friend comes in...

Okay, I have an idea in mind, it's a bit crazy but maybe that makes it original. A gay man has been obsessed with his soccer idol for fifteen years. He even decorated his studio with posters. He cannot be with another man, his life is about his soccer idol. One day his best female friend walks...

Thanks, so you should dress him up in more casual clothes. If Alice checks on the gun before he comes in, spectators would know she's the bad one in this. Wouldn't that be more predictable if she'd put the gun against his head later on?

It's actually a one scene five minutes movie. So this should be it, that's why I was considering an extra scene with Alice taking a gun she had been hiding underneath her couch. As a viewer it's also important not to know he's an undercover agent. People should think he's just another client and...

I changed a few things. Still wonder if it wouldn't be over the top to add a scene with a gun? ​ ​ INT. ALiCE's OFFICE - DAY Life coach ALICE PARKER ( 50, medium long blonde hair, wearing a diamond neckless, long black designer dress and high heel shoes) sits on her fancy white long couch in...

I'm not saying she should be a scientologist but the type of life coach that could be a scientologist. Not all greedy and corrupt lifecoaches are scientologists.

The bottom line is: this life coach should be the type of person you should expect to be a member of scientology, patronizing any client. Do you think it's a good idea to add the "gun" scene. So basically, she should be the one dominating the conversation and starts talking before he can...

At my hospital nurses were flyering to spot patients. They approached people getting angry, being skinny and made them believe they're seriously ill. Overall the characters are rather flat but once those patients realize they were only used and abused they decide to contact an organisation that...

I could eventually throw away my personality and write his script. The question ( to help others as well) is rather: is there anything you can do with this kind of critique. If I get to read a script I don't like ( when it's a genre I don't like) I would never say it's the worst thing I've ever...

I decided to open a new topic on this. In general my writing is a bit non-realistic but one of my scripts is really over the top. It's about a team of doctors starting a private hospital and making as many people as possible believe they're seriously mentally ill. In the final act for instance...