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This makes it ten times more unprofessional. So he was okay to cast if the role/film was just okay, but now that you got it better you should be the star? Don't be surprised if word gets around about this stunt. I don't mean to be rude, but this sounds like it was really in poor taste.

Yes, except I would use different wording than "third sequence" so it doesn't sound so stiff. For instance over the phone he could be RASPY VOICE and when you introduce BOB he has the same raspy voice from his earlier phone call with Sue. OR you can make it clear in the dialogue. Say Raspy Voice...

sorry - duplicate message

I like the idea of trying to call home with no reception. She could basically run back home to safety. Maybe even when heads home her parents are headed out to the country looking for her. Seems like that would be the first place they look.

As it is now, no for me but I think that could be changed in reworking the logline.

A crime drama can be a teenager solving a neighborhood mystery that has no legal process involved. Get creative with the definition of the genre. If you follow established genre "rules" in a new/different environment, you may come up with something very fun and interesting.

^^^That's the million dollar question. OP, if you are not planning to make the pilot at least you need to realize that this will most likely be a writing sample as no-name writers selling shows is rare. So then, you're left with a writing sample for a writing duo who may have only paired up for...

The logline sounds more like a movie than a series right now. Once the psychiatrist discovers what the root of the problem is, it sounds like the end (the a sense of closure you get in a movie). This may be a good logline for the pilot episode even, but for the series we want to know what the...

Does he really have to plant evidence? I would have him black mail the DA. The DA says "Why? You won't win in court." His response along the lines of "Make sure "Such&So" gets the case. I've seen him/her win much looser trials." Honestly, if you ever seen a trial in real life a lot of it is...

I would probably still do a full slug line. My last line of description before the slug line would be about the mark on the wall and the first line after the slug line would be about the new mark. I think the reader would get the idea and not be too pulled out of it. I would think you want a...

I used to be big on capitalizing all sounds. Now, this is the seldom occasion where I'll do so. I only use it to call attention to a loud/shocking sound that I want to stand out to the reader. In your example, I would capitalize but it's a matter of preference.

Who is the main character? The man? His struggle and identity don't sound very interesting as of yet. Also, you said it's a comedy. To me it's more offensive that woman-lead world is inherently supposed to be funny, just my opinion. My first thought was what if it was a gay guy who has no...

Thanks a ton Maz. I know hierarchy is going to naturally be important given the setting and in retrospect your tip about linguistic style is dead on. This helps a lot in my revision process. Much of this draft was completed on a writing binge so I'm really trying to pull back and gain some...

I watched it. I think it is very different. I need to rework the pitch to be more specific. When I get my logline polished I will post it here. I think doing a logline for a series is new territory in itself for me but I will post it shortly.

Does anyone know where I could get my hands on a Walking Dead script that's more recent (season four or five). All I can find (other than transcripts) are the pilot and the fifth episode of the first season. I really want something written since Scott Gimple has been Showrunner. Anyone?

To Maz: I sent you the script and wanted to make sure that the email went through. The system would not allow me to private message you. Please let me know if you got it. Thank you so much for the read.

There is no die hard rule but the general expectation I believe is ninety. Also I think people are more aggravated with too long than too short. So if your polished screenplay is eighty five pages still send it out in my opinion. If you're submitting to competitions they will let you know their...

In my college days I've used sides from the script as well as a short improv to see how they can interpret the character. And I agree ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS redirect them even if you like the way they do it the first time. You want actors who can be directed.

Thanks. I'm a light sci-fi fan so I'm hoping the perspective is very different. I will check it out though to be sure.

Hi All, I'm working on a script that I'm very excited about. It's an original TV pilot set in ancient Egypt that explores a power struggle between alien forces who influence the politics and religion. Essentially the aliens are worshipped as gods but they also have their own agendas. I have a...