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  1. critique Opening to a road trip thriller

    Untitled Road Trip Thriller - Opening Scene After taking a bit of a break, I thought I might get back into my dark and twisted love story. While I don't have every single thing planned out just yet, I have a core idea of two "lovers" embarking on a cross country road trip, filled with murderous...
  2. story Using Paul Schrader's metaphor method for a story

    Thanks for the input. I've actually thought a bit more about it. He hosts these weekly meetings outside of his actual job. He does help people because of his own experience with addicts, but also resents his mother for the same reason. When he sees someone that could be his mother, he gets...
  3. story Using Paul Schrader's metaphor method for a story

    If anyone wants to read on his method, check out a post I made on reddit which gives a summary, then a YouTube link where he talks for 90minutes about it. Here is my proposed concept and story using this method. The conflict behind this is personal, and this is how I'm going to convey it. A...
  4. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    One of my main problems is I tend to get to the story too quickly. So I'm going to work on an intro taking place at an award ceremony for the department. The detective, partner and wives will be there. People get drunk, the detective and wife go home and maybe leave the front door open...
  5. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    Well dude, I'm taking your idea of current cop, partner back at home helping him along the way. He won't be the reason for the kidnapping, however. Instead, proximity to the trafficking ring is the cause of the kidnapping, and once found out, the detective will call in for his partner. All of...
  6. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    Whatever gets the job done. Maybe in fleshing out the few characters I have will spark something. If not, I'm still working on my medieval comedy pilot.
  7. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    Ahhh yea I like what you're saying. I have a problem with going too big sometimes. I have never completed a feature (but many shorts), so this is kind of daunting. I have a western which is about 70 pages in, but again I lost it due to adding things and not being satisfied. I'm sure you know...
  8. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    Partner doesn't go along but is available via phone. Maybe toward the end he has to call his partner to actually come to the town and get shit done. By the way I appreciate the brainstorming. I frequent some other scree writing sites where people aren't helpful.
  9. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    I was considering him having a partner of sorts.
  10. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    I'm just wondering if there should be a direct relation between this little town and his daughter. I do have a scene which shows him in a motel room, with a huge map dotted with thumb tacks and notes, so it shows that he's been searching.
  11. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    Exactly. That was kind of the plan in the end.
  12. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    Haha I'm not offended, I'm not married to this particular idea but it's just something I've been messing around with. Believe me, I have a lot of half-assed ideas.
  13. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    Maybe so, I don't know. All I know is I want something bleak in a small town involving an outsider that stumbles upon something.
  14. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    The original idea involved the detective's brother, the governor of Kansas, being the one responsible for the disappearance of his daughter. He basically took her and sold her off to (some entity) in order to obtain his state position.
  15. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    I get you and I like the idea of making things not exactly what they seem. I'm still working this out, and I also realize that this is similar to Taken.
  16. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    I'm sure you remember 8mm? Cage finds out the girl died at the end of the second act. The final act I all avenging. Wouldn't it be convenient that he Does find out she's dead? He isn't in Kansas because a specific lead on his daughter, just rather to pick up the girl he purchased. He would...
  17. plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

    Fair enough. But one thing is for sure, he will not be finding his daughter or what happened to her. I am going for bleak, but this other girl will be some semblance of hope.
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