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  1. U

    Screenwriting

    The Trainspotting Script: http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/trainspotting.html
  2. U

    Screenwriting

    One way. This was a "flashforward", then montage with a V.O. to begin. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLMxoDZDHDk
  3. U

    Screenwriting

    My recommendation for the opening, speaking generically, is to have an initiating event. An action. As has been said above, just talking about wanting to kick an addiction is a bit cliche' if not a bit "on the nose" so to speak. I would consider starting with introducing your characters in...
  4. U

    Feedback on first 10 pages please.

    Thanks! Thanks for the feedback. I probably need to make it clearer that the town is a "has been" mining town. One step away from being a ghost town so one lawman is almost one more than needed. Also I do need to clarify better that Tinman isn't a deputy or law enforcer. He's literally a...
  5. U

    New Member

    Welcome!
  6. U

    Feedback on first 10 pages please.

    I have much respect for those who have been around (and run) this forum. With that in mind, I and my writing partner have completed a tentpole sci-fi western feature. It's still somewhat "rough" as far needing a good trim and polish, etc. but I would love to get any and all feedback and...
  7. U

    Screenwriting

    Yes it very much could work. It's all about the execution and what happens between the opening scene and the last scene. As to your follow-up question, my simple, generic response? Hook us. Give us 5 to 10 pages that introduces the "world", sets the tone, introduces the principal players...
  8. U

    New here, just saying hello.

    Welcome!
  9. U

    Beginner vs. Pro - What’s the exactly different?

    IMHO it's about the voice of the two different examples which many people call "style". Think of it maybe this way. When you tell a good ghost story around the campfire, it's important HOW you tell the story. If you just stand there and mono-tonally rattle off the events (Ben Stein voice) then...
  10. U

    character How to write from a character’s POV?

    It was just a joke. :)
  11. U

    character How to write from a character’s POV?

    How 'Ready Player One' does it:
  12. U

    character How to write from a character’s POV?

    How I would do it a couple different ways: INT. THE SCHMIDT BASEMENT - NIGHT After descending the stairs, Annie looks around at the almost completely vacant square room. A lone table in the center of the room stands illuminated by a single bulb hanging from the ceiling. Annie's attention is...
  13. U

    movies What's the last film you watched? And rate it!

    Downsizing I read the screenplay and then watched the film. The screenplay seemed to start with a great premise but get off track early and then kept taking swings at drama that kept missing. In the screenplay there's a whole sideplot of some neanderthals in a cave from the future (even...
  14. U

    movies What's the last film you watched? And rate it!

    Took a couple of flights this week and watched movies both ways. Detroit: Pretty good. Gritty and I knew nothing about the historical event and it said in the film they filled in items that didn't have testimony of it or where details were sketchy. Definitely makes you realize how many times...
  15. U

    What Screenwriters Can Learn From Disney Songs

    I like your series as well. I think I've seen you post on other forums as well (donedeal?). keep it up!
  16. U

    First 6 pages of a feature I'm working on - "Florida Girls"

    Maybe it was clear and I just misread it.
  17. U

    First 6 pages of a feature I'm working on - "Florida Girls"

    I thought I did but then it didn't make sense why the guy would have to go somewhere to get Spencer when he already had him when the guy handed him the key. If I read it right, Spencer was the key, so the guy gets Spencer, gives him to the other guy, then gets shot. But then that other guy has...
  18. U

    First 6 pages of a feature I'm working on - "Florida Girls"

    That was interesting. Visually it makes me think it would be animated. Maybe even a black and white pencil animation. I wasn't sure why the key was SPENCER and then the guy asked for SPENCER and then later a SPENCER was collecting creatures, etc. at the end.
  19. U

    movies What's the last film you watched? And rate it!

    The Secret Scripture. Obviously not as good as the book but was well done. It's always a challenge to fit a book with so many things happening into a 2hr movie. Acting was good. I recommend the book.
  20. U

    First 6 pages of a feature I'm working on - "Florida Girls"

    Still says it's not publicly available. :(
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