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You're stuck on semantics. Proper grammar just comes naturally over time, as you clock up a few writing hours. As you learn to re read carefully, as you become inclined to redraft, as you write on a plan rather than just inspiration. Focusing on grammar as the problem, neglects all of the...

A screenplay uses the 2 dimensional vehicle of words to describe the 3 dimensional experience of film. The words are secondary to the process. Imagining the film is primary.

Screenwriting isn't about words.

Good screenwriting is dependent on not adhering to any rules.

Well, but the thing is, some people may be taking your advice on board. And I believe you're sending them off track. I think you're doing damage, possibly even ruining them as writers. What you feel you have learned from other people's experience is just that. But you are claiming authority...

lol, actually designer facial hair is even worse. That means they stand in front of the mirror every day consciously LIKING their facial hair.

I see, so this is opinion, stated as fact. rayw, do you mind me asking, do you have any experience at selling scripts?

I'll give you an example of bad grammar: "they criticized him using bad grammar" should be: "they criticized him *for* using bad grammar" But really, don't worry about it, just get your work proofread before you send it out, these sort of mistakes are very easy to fix. And tell your friend...

I disagree, writers should never be made to feel self conscious about grammar, or anything else. It's important for the process to not be "aware" of the words as you write them. In fact good screenwriting is dependent on not adhering to grammatical rules. You throw around a lot of hard and fast...

Well, luckily for you, I don't represent ALL women. I'm sure there are some beard-lovers out there, (eew) .... somewhere

Then make it more intimate. In a thriller, suspense relies on us feeling what they feel. Or fearing what will happen to them. Who is your main character? Who do we feel for?

I'm going to be harsh here. Low budget action is almost impossible. Audiences are conditioned to 300mil production values in action, that's hard to get around. How passionate are you about this idea? What are you really wanting to achieve with it? I don't want to dampen enthusiasm, but if I...

and facial hair. eew. And business shirts. Pimples...Aaaaarrggghhh!!! Mono brow, sideburns, weak chin. None of those things help., lol

Ed seems a bit like a control freak, and Lisa has self esteem issues. I don't mind "random" dialogue, but it needs to serve in some way. Will this build in suspense until Ed kills Lisa? Then she's not actually dead and she sneaks up on him and stabs him in the back, just as he thinks he got away...

It still isn't going to be low budget. 2 gangs of ten, at least as many cops, you'll have to take over an entire block, warderobe, make up. How low is low? Even SAW cost one mil. And that was just in one room. Stunts, gunfire, smashed doors and windows. Cop cars. Action, is expensive.

Shoot all the cops? Have it play out from gang1's perspective inside the bank. maybe gang2 snipers them through the window, and only 2 are still alive. And they can't figure out if it's the cops or gang2. And they give themselves up to save themselves.

I just don't buy it that cops would alter rigorous attitudes to strategy because of some hear say of some maybe gang going to possibly drop in. They could sneak up on a small swat team on a roof and take their clothes and weapons, but it just feels like I've seen it before. Why not even just a...

This story will rely on credibility. The cops would never hide from gang2. They will have to find another way in. You could go for the ol cliche, and they wear police uniforms. But I think that's been done. They could infiltrate by pretending to be family members of the hostages, they get pretty...

I like it. I think there should be more of it. It captivates the audiences imagination. I liked that tracking shot in gladiator too, where he's lying on his back gliding across the wheatfield. Or was that at the end. But don't mix a shot up with credits. Credits are just put together or...

I think it's the other way around. It's not that they send it on, because it's pre approved, I think they have such a strong urge to send it on because they want the points you earn for having sent on something so unexpected and funny.