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I liked it maybe needs to be cut in some areas but i think you did a dam good job, keep it up.

write 10 scenes down on a note pad. Every day try to work on at lease one scene , before you know it you will have 120 pages of a shitty first draft to fix :)

Wrote this a while back for a competition . I know this has tons of stuff that needs to be fixed but if anyone wants to make this short let me know, ill rewrite it lol https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B8UX3D6AhyWfMmx0blo3TThsZGc

Message you.

If you post a script I will be more then happy to come up with some amazing way your script could end :)

This has to be the best feed back so far! thanks you so much. Im gonna go back and read a feel scripts just to get a idea of how the pro's do it. I used final draft.

Thank you sir. Good thing i only posted 5 pages and not the 120 cause i would be in a mess of trouble lol If you like the dark humor, ill be sure to post the finished script so you can read it. i have loads more :)

Ill be honest with you, i have no idea what that means but i will google it until i figure it out. :) Thanks for the feedback.

Thanks for the feed back. Can you please point me to what worked and what didn't thanks you.

I would watch it, write it up!

I have a few. You could try to collaborate with other youtubers, Or submit your web show to like funny or die. Post in every facebook group that will Accept your invite, i did this with a short film got second place. Start messaging all youtube channels that do reviews get your name...

omfg i love it! I cant believe you guys don't have way more subscribers and views, its genius! If you need writer let me know please.

Thank you for the feed back so far, i posted a new link. Yea I removed some stuff before i posted it, i should of left it in sorry. So basically the state department was investigating a Matteo for charity fraud. He is actually in jail for something completely different, Caught strangling...

You know it was a dam good short! I just have a few things i think could of been better or still can with a little bit of editing. 1)The overexposed shots they just were hard to look at was a bit to much. 2) Execution of dialog, some of it seems to fast and forced maybe cut a few...

Hello My name is joey I love movies and I love a good story. If you written or filmed one send me a link so i can check it out :)

You could just make it were the evidence some how got leaked to the media, exposing everything. Sure it cant be used in court but wont change public opinion.

is it unreadable?

I want brutal critiquing. Ill never get better unless you rip these 5 pages to shreds! If you don't want to read it thats fine, just drop in say hi :) [ https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8UX3D6AhyWfTjVMUW9LRzluVU0/view?usp=sharing EXT/INT. WONDER MOTEL - DAY BAKERSFIELD CA, WONDER MOTEL...