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Yeah, it's like those notices for "opportunities" from International Screenwriters Association (ISA). Someone has a fantastic idea for a movie, and they want you to write a script based on their idea and, in return, you get a fabulous 50% of the profit if anybody decides to invest in it.

That works. Ty!

Thanks, D Yeah, I need to figure out how to be precise. It's basically "found footage" through the whole teaser (with the exception of the flashbacks) that then will switch to standard footage in the beginning of Act One (and the real director can have his camera back). It's confusing.

Hi, Quality Yes, you're absolutely right, and I accept the rebuke. Under normal circumstances, that would be the case. But the director here isn't deciding where the camera should be, a character in the script is. So, leaving aside your entirely appropriate objection, would the teaser itself...

I'd be really appreciative if anyone's willing to take a look at a short, 4-page opening teaser to a pilot for a series. Any feedback would be welcome, but I'd be especially interested to know if it does its job, i.e., teases enough for interest in watching what follows? Muchos gracias...

Crying is a little trickier. Crying is actually not an emotion, it's a response to an emotion: fear, sadness, love, etc. There's no other way to "show" crying than to say "John cries."

It's always better to show rather than tell. "John is frustrated" is better shown: "John rips the toilet paper into ten million shreds. JOHN: Goddamn Ex-Lax ain't worth shit."

Send it on. I'll be happy to take a look. m.charles60 (at) att.net

Would anyone be willing to do a script swap? I've got a tv pilot (approximately 50 pages) that I'd like some basic feedback on and I'd be happy to return the favor. "Gabriela Santiago and the Seven Cities of Gold" Dramedy with elements of magical realism. Logline: A young woman with strange...

It's hard to say based on a short synopsis of your story. It should have just enough action sequences to tell the story you want to tell, whether that's 70"s Airport or "dark and serious." Nobody can say if there's enough car chases and shit blowing up except you at this point. Write your best...

I assume you're looking for more generic advice on the process or what to avoid, rather than the technical differences between a screen script and a stage play script. In general, I've found screenplay adaptations of stage plays to be easily identifiable as such: heavy on dialogue; limited...

Hi, Rochestas Thanks for the feedback and kind words. 1. This is not my first screenplay. It's my second. (just kidding) 2. I had hoped scraping a scorpion off her boot and eating it raw might reveal information about her personality. �� 3. Yes, lots of POV camera movement that I had hoped...

Seriously, dude? You're in film school, you get to make a freakin' film, and you got nuthin?? Are you sure you want to be there? It's all about telling a story, right? Find your premise, and tell the story. You got this.

Would welcome any feedback at all. Title: Gabriela Santiago And The Seven Cities Of Gold Drama/Fantasy Early first draft Muchos gracias, amigos! FADE IN: BEGIN FLASHBACK EXT. NEW MEXICO DESERT - EVENING A swirling sandstorm hisses and...

"I sincerely hope to count with your involvement in this project and start by your side a long lasting work relationship." Are you looking for a writing partner or feedback/critique?

In the pilot script for "Breaking Bad," Vince Gilligan opens by repeatedly using the character name of "Underpants Man" to refer to Walter White, who's stumbling around outside his meth-lab RV with a gun while in his underoos. It works well in the opening scene and he only switches to "Walter...

Make sure you're using a storyboard and plotting it out carefully, scene by scene. Make sure you know, in each and every scene, even the small ones, what the characters WANT and why. Do this BEFORE you write any dialogue. Writing dialogue before you know those things, inside and out, is...

Most of the problems have been well-covered by Sweetie and FantasySciFi. A few additional notes: 1. Most of the parentheticals you use for your dialogue are unnecessary. For example: LAUREN (in a flirtatious fashion to Robert) What can I get you handsome? or ROBERT (apologetic)...

Hi, Ghost Messiah As usual, some good advice from Sweetie. You've put a lot of effort into describing your visuals and that's great. You'd make a helluva poet. Unfortunately, screenplays aren't poems. Poetry is often equivocal, obscure and imprecise. Screenplays can't be since they're...

No. Perhaps you misunderstood what he meant. What is possible is that every big scene can hint at, imply or allude to the stakes/conflict, the relationship between main characters, the theme and the concept behind the film. Reading a good "big" scene can, at least in well-written scripts, give...