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    Adversary (Short Film) Draft

    Still, even if Ira's main problem is his grandpa, I think he should have other (minor) problems as well. It might add some layers to the story. And what if, somehow, seeing Ira dancing disturbs the grandpa? So if Ira wants to see the loving grandpa, not the psycho, he should give up his dream...
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    Adversary (Short Film) Draft

    It seemed to me that Ira lives in a perfect world, where everybody say something like "you look good" to each other, and smile all the time. I know, it's just the exposition, but even in a bright world, I'd like to see some limitations of the main character, something not perfect. He might live...
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    critique Sci Fi Screenplay Critiques.

    Who are actually Emily and Ryan? Did Lanyon know from the beginning, that Ryan was a machine? Ryan and Emily are too trustful to strangers. First the 4 men with Lanyon, then Alice, then Reese. And Ryan is too quickly to deny Emily, knowing she's a machine. After all, she has been his wife!
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    Need some feedback for a short movie 12 pages

    I understand that it's Bruce's character, but still I think he talks too much. Especially this: BRUCE Let me tell you. Clara begged me. She got on her knees and begged me to promise not to hurt you and I...
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    Short movie - gay person obsessed with his soccer idol

    As for me, this is certainly a (romantic) comedy. I don't see how a boy dressed as a girl can fit a serious drama. Is this a short film script?
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    Courier - Need feedback on short film script

    Need feedback about the story development and the characters
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    Courier - Need feedback on short film script

    Not exactly. You advise not to write the obvious, but writing "Interrupts" is actually writing the obvious. If I write an unfinished sentence in the dialogue line of character A, and then the dialogue line of character B, isn't it obvious that character B has interrupted character A? Example...
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    Courier - Need feedback on short film script

    This is the part when I should say I'm sorry for wasting your time? :) Anyway, you gave me a review, and I thank you for that. My only question is about the characters interrupting each other in dialogue. Why not leaving this matter to the filming itself? If I'm going to direct it, I can...
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    The Art of the Critique

    1) - A constructive criticism is about the work, and never about the artist himself. 2) - A constructive criticism should be specific, not "Good" or "Bad" 3) - A constructive criticism shouldn't do any generalizations 4) - A constructive criticism shouldn't force one's opinion on the artist 5) -...
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    David Fincher's Advice to Young Filmmakers

    In other words, David Fincher tells us to be the guy who shouts louder than others? Well, then the best filmmakers are those, who sell fruits on the bazaar. These guys can go on selling their fruits, no matter how many times you tell them to sit down and shut-the-fuck-up. These guys are trained...
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    Need Some Feedback

    Nobody is "foulmouthing" you. You're a negative person and you see everything in negative light. That's all I can say.
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    Need Some Feedback

    J.T. From this genre of films, I would expect some twist in the end, some punch. It was so interesting all along the scene, but ended so... empty. I suggest you to think of it. Maybe Nolan DOES succeed to get up from the chair after he talks to Satan. He confronts Gary on his way and moves on...
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    Courier - Need feedback on short film script

    I'm sorry, but complaining that YOU can't open a link is not a criticism. And this is not criticism either I uploaded it here, in CODE. COURIER INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY SHAHAR, a soldier in his 20’s, in an army suit, sits in front of ILANA, a pretty woman of nearly 35 with a furious...
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    Courier - Need feedback on short film script

    Cut what? Maybe you should consider advancing in technology? The link works, as said above. Not only for him, and not only this link. I work in an office. I send reports in Google Docs, almost on daily basis, and no one ever complains that they can't see what I send. Moreover, I haven't heard...
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    Courier - Need feedback on short film script

    Editor, I'm not sure what you mean by ILLEGIBLE FORMAT. If you mean that there is no title page, and the scene headlines are in Bold font, then this is the script I write for myself, to film. I do NOT intend to send it to producers or anywhere else, besides the people I pick up for the casting...
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    Courier - Need feedback on short film script

    Also advises regarding the production itself are welcomed. And I still can't decide what is better, "Courier" or "Get rid of the Courier" as the title
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    Courier - Need feedback on short film script

    Need feedback on short film script Need feedback on the short film script I plan to shoot this summer. Logline: A soldier who needs to deliver a coffin with a fallen army officer to his family, finds out that instead of a dead body, the coffin contains a suitcase full of Heroin, a loaded gun...
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    From CELTX to word, this forum, other docs

    I really don't understand, why not just learn the format and write according to it in Word, manually? This way, the formatting will keep everywhere, because YOU have done the formatting. It keeps the tabs, the lines, the spaces and the transitions, when you type them manually. There are so many...
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    Lord of the Rings: How to Read Tolkien

    I've read Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and Hobbit, and watched the movies. What I'm going to say is my personal opinion. First of all, about Lord of the Rings - this is one of the few times when the movie seems much better than the book. However, in case of Hobbit, the book was actually good...
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    THE GENERAL REGISTRY OF CLICHE LINES

    What about some meaningful actions, situations or set-ups, not dialogue lines? Aren't they cliche? For example: 1) - The protagonist reloads his gun, throws away his cigarette and goes to kick some asses with a serious face 2) - The mothers of tough protagonists are always strong women who...
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