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If H44 told you, he'd have to hire Canadian ninjas to kill you. The number grows and shrinks. Tyler isn't angry all the time. There is a time 'before it happened'. The event hasn't happened yet when we first meet Tyler so there is nothing to make him want revenge. You need to start in the...

I think this is much better. I'd probably only give minor tweaking: "A psychiatrist discovers that beings from a parallel dimension are using humans minds for their own purposes and something big is coming." I think this gives a sense of the theme but also hints at the edge of what can be...

You play the role as if you were the character. Being a screenwriter means being part actor and part director. If you were Tyler and were a cop, what would you do? That's why actors will often spend time with people who live their roles. If I want to play a cop, I get permission to ride with...

Work from your characters' perspectives. Be your characters. If it's a trainwreck in slow motion that the audience is watching, so be it. Certain events will lead to certain ends. Be sure your female villain and the protagonist are believable throughout. What you don't want is to pull a...

Sounds more like a SyFy movie than a series. It feels very closed, finite. What is the ongoing part?

1. The story is about characters not elaborate plans. If you create characters that your audience really care about, the plot can be simple or elaborate and still be successful. I can't stress that enough. Scripts largely succeed or fail based on character development. We, the audience...

I agree. Books are great teachers for some, others need to have more interactive direction. The quote you borrowed from me is focused on that very issue--those who spoon feed solutions from an incomplete picture. I think we're in agreement. I try to focus my guidance on how to think about...

The problem is that H44 has too many disjoint threads and the suggestions confuse rather than clarify his writing. In his thread about "The first five pages" we get a snapshot of a Tyler (lead) and other key characters. Unfortunately, there are problems within the first five pages. Now coming...

Yeah, okay. I haven't read your script so I can't say. I'm sure you can find some movie you can borrow a scene from to help write this in a convincing, sensitive manner. Excuse my directness but if you can't even get Tyler, your lead's character motivation, how the hell do you think you can...

Be very careful to not overuse flashbacks. That is a very bad habit of new writers. Especially if you want to sell the script, too many flashbacks read as poor writing to many readers and producers at studios. Why? 1. Flashbacks are often expository tools. Lazy writers will use them rather...

Below is the typical approach. If the flashback is just to one scene, you can put (FLASHBACK) after the slugline. If you are flashing back to a sequence of scenes, you bracket it with FLASHBACK: and END FLASHBACK:. Because the home may change appearance, as a set design issue, I always put...

Unfortunately, this does happen as is seen in a recent report: http://bangordailynews.com/2013/09/20/news/state/prosecutor-orders-arrest-of-woman-as-material-witness-to-testify-against-her-alleged-abuser/ Working as a therapist with traumatized individuals, I can only say how deeply incidents...

It's the victim's house, not the villain's from your description. Second, even it if were Henderson's, having the victim present makes it an active crime scene. In the case of Dirty Harry, there was no way to say that Harry hadn't planted the evidence. Nor could it be stated that the rifle...

Yeah, okay. I'm working on a feature crime script for a director that shoots in June. I understand budget issues. I can see that you are making changes to your story and that's good. However, because the bad guys are perpetrating a sexual assault and kidnapping, it would automatically invoke...

I really don't think you need the gas station scene. My hint would be to have him camping or fishing in the mountains. You can use that time to show his human side as a fisherman. The police band plays in the background. When he hears the report about a stolen vehicle, he doesn't think too...

That's not the kind of flaw that Truby is talking about. Like MLeseman suggests, it's about personal behaviors. Yes, entering is a legal challenge to the legitimacy of his actions, but it's not a personality flaw. A personality flaw is like 'he cheats', 'he lies', 'he womanizes', etc. Human...

You're taking Truby too literally. You want your main characters to be interesting and one's the audience can feel something for. We are all flawed, none of us is perfect. Can you think of some of your own flaws? What if you introduced one to Tyler? I'm fairly good with watching what I eat...

Every sci-fi script nowadays invokes wormhole technology. As such, I'm not sure the technology should be the focus. As others said, movies are about people and their conflicting goals. Good luck.

Okay but you're missing my point. The focus of your story is Tyler's descent. The elaborate plan is integral but not the focus. Maybe they have this elaborate plan, but it's the pursuit of Tyler by fellow officers and his pursuit of the gang that is the focus of the story. Why he's pursuing...

You need to be careful. You said in previous threads that this was a story about the cop, not the gang. This clearly says the opposite. It sounds like you still haven't decided what your story is really about. Are you pursuing a story about a gang's elaborate scheme ("heist type film")...