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  1. PhantomScreenwriter

    Working on Direct to VOD...

    Thank you for your response Directorik. Do you think that also looking at becoming a producer too would be helpful? I have thought about whether I should pursue that as well. Roger Corman comes to mind as the type of producer I would like to be. I would also like to help others make low budget...
  2. PhantomScreenwriter

    Working on Direct to VOD...

    This may seem strange to some but my main long term goal is to work in the industry on low budget films that go straight to VOD. I say it may seem strange to some because usually people want to work in the mainstream big budget blockbuster sector of the film industry. So my question is - what...
  3. PhantomScreenwriter

    Revealing a Character's Name?

    Thanks again for the responses everyone :)
  4. PhantomScreenwriter

    Revealing a Character's Name?

    Thanks everyone for your responses. Sorry for any confusion with the question. I didn't intend to withhold Tom's name from the reader, it was just the result of faulty thinking, in which I didn't want to put "Man Who Survived" in all caps when the character is first introduced to the reader, and...
  5. PhantomScreenwriter

    Revealing a Character's Name?

    That's okay Miked, thanks for your response all the same. The character who was at first known in the script as Man Who Survived is actually named Tom. When I introduce him, I didn't put Man Who Survived in all caps. It isn't until the next time his name is mentioned in descriptive text do I put...
  6. PhantomScreenwriter

    Revealing a Character's Name?

    EDIT: Thank you everyone who responded. My issue has been resolved but of course feel free to continue any discussions that arose from this topic :) I have a character that doesn't get their name revealed to the reader until they introduce themselves to another character. They survived a car...
  7. PhantomScreenwriter

    How can I explain a twist, without doing it in a James Bond corny way?

    Does the villain even have to explain to him the "why" of their actions? It could just go like this: MC: Why? Villain: It doesn't matter. What matters is I now have the upper hand. Or something to that effect.
  8. PhantomScreenwriter

    What's a better way to reveal this twist?

    @harmonica44 In Reservoir Dogs so the audience doesn't know that until it's revealed in the narrative, and that's the approach you could take with your undercover cop character. As for making sure the audience doesn't know she's a crook, you have to decide what you want the audience to know...
  9. PhantomScreenwriter

    What's a better way to reveal this twist?

    Have you seen Reservoir Dogs?
  10. PhantomScreenwriter

    What's a better way to reveal this twist?

    If the cop is undercover then he would act the way a crook would, so as to not blow their cover. Try to treat the undercover cop character as if he is a crook and not an undercover cop. If you work in that he falls for her, the audience not knowing he's an undercover cop will help sell that he's...
  11. PhantomScreenwriter

    What's a better way to reveal this twist?

    One way of making it a surprise that she's a villain is to keep the reveal that the undercover cop is an undercover cop, a secret. That way the reader isn't thinking about the fact she's being investigated because they don't know that information yet.
  12. PhantomScreenwriter

    Is this undercover scenario too elaborate?

    And what is the woman's relationship to the gang other than the fact she is part of it - is she the leader's girlfriend, or a girlfriend of any of the members? If not then how about this: the cops send in an undercover cop to get close to her. Over time they gain her trust, maybe become an item...
  13. PhantomScreenwriter

    Is this undercover scenario too elaborate?

    How long have the police been after this gang?
  14. PhantomScreenwriter

    Is this undercover scenario too elaborate?

    If the woman is arrested, she instantly becomes a liability for the gang. The police don't get anything out of her and because they have lack of evidence they let her go. In the meantime, the gang have put out a hit on the woman. Since the police are running surveillance on her, when the hit is...
  15. PhantomScreenwriter

    Is this undercover scenario too elaborate?

    The problem I see is that even if the police go undercover and pretend to be the gang, depending on how long she has actually been involved with the gang, it would seem weird to her that these new "additions" to the gang just so happen to have appeared and are now asking questions.
  16. PhantomScreenwriter

    Is this undercover scenario too elaborate?

    I would make it so that the gang definitely doesn't want anything to do with her because they would now view her as a liability. The woman shouldn't want to make contact with the gang period, no matter even if it's an emergency or not. The police would definitely be running surveillance on her...
  17. PhantomScreenwriter

    Is their anything I can do about this plot hole?

    Maybe he has an army buddy who he can this gear for him to use.
  18. PhantomScreenwriter

    Is their anything I can do about this plot hole?

    Here's another way you could have the character figure out the combination of the safe: In the first Splinter Cell video game you can see which buttons someone has pressed on a keypad by using Sam's thermal vision to see the heat signature on the buttons. The more pronounced the signature, the...
  19. PhantomScreenwriter

    Character names mentioned too many times...

    Thanks for the help sfoster, appreciate it! So far I haven't really thought about some of the traits of Jacob yet so I will definitely be incorporating them when I do, as the draft progresses :)
  20. PhantomScreenwriter

    Character names mentioned too many times...

    While working on one of my short scripts I noticed that I tend to repeat a character's name more than once or twice when describing what's happening. I was wondering about the best way to make sure the reader knows who is doing what in the scene without repeating the names of the characters too...
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