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  1. VanillaThunder

    critique I would love honest feedback on this synopsis

    Thx for the feedback! Your critique is valid and if you read the updated, longer, version on the synopsis posted 2 spots above your answer, that problem is adressed. Watching a fictional character to through the fire without change feels meaningless, did this story not even change a FAKE...
  2. VanillaThunder

    critique I would love honest feedback on this synopsis

    Right. I certainly don't prescribe any type of method, I'm just repeating what Blade Snyker says in his book.
  3. VanillaThunder

    critique I would love honest feedback on this synopsis

    Here is an expanded synopsis with all the structural elements described. <===ACT I START===> SETUP 0-10% Life is good for Thor Thorson. As a happy father of a 5-year-old daughter, an appreciated teacher at the local elementary school, and a skilled MMA fighter – Thor is kicking ass on a daily...
  4. VanillaThunder

    critique I would love honest feedback on this synopsis

    Thanks for all that input. Maybe all that stuff after MY ending could fit for a sequel.
  5. VanillaThunder

    critique I would love honest feedback on this synopsis

    It's interesting that commented that since I have considered whether to make the kidnapping targeted, or random (first victim that fits the criteria). As it stands right now in the script, they took a girl of around that age to sell off to human traffickers. So "random". The girl dies in the...
  6. VanillaThunder

    critique I would love honest feedback on this synopsis

    Your critique is fair and I agree with you 100%. I had a longer 2-sentence logline that I played around with before: As a pro MMA fighter’s daughter is kidnapped and killed by a powerful pedophile ring, he has a mental breakdown. He must break out of the high security psyche ward, run by the...
  7. VanillaThunder

    critique I would love honest feedback on this synopsis

    Thanks for the response. I'm new to this game so my plan will definately change over time. But currently I do these three and then write a treatment, which is a detailed outline like you mentioned. I did write a treatment for this story, as I've worked with it for a couple weeks now. Any...
  8. VanillaThunder

    critique I would love honest feedback on this synopsis

    From what I gather in screenwriting books, it's a common mistake to start writing the screenplay before you have a good title + logline + synopsis. I think of this as the 3x combo. Therefore, I'm not starting before I get feedback on my project. I see this as a drama/action/comedy. Title: The...
  9. VanillaThunder

    Screenwriter from Sweden here

    Hey! I have experience writing professionally and recently decided to get into screenplays. I read books and study 1 film a day. My "literary" talent is very high but my "story" talent is pretty average. Would be cool to partner up with someone who had the opposite strengths.
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