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  1. Geezer

    critique BackTrack Short Script critique requested

    It's good to get feedback but don't take it all to heart or change everything on someones say so. Make the film, you won't win an Oscar but if you can get it made you are doing a lot better than most. I would love to make one of my shorts into a film but that won't be happening any time soon...
  2. Geezer

    critique BackTrack Short Script critique requested

    There were no text messages, the delivery man heard her speak
  3. Geezer

    misc Questions about starting out

    I agree with directorik, adapt one of your novels. You should definitely write what you are good at so stick with the same genre. Also as mlesemann says, write some shorts to give you a feel for screenwriting. Get some screenwriting software like Celtx, this will format your scripts correctly...
  4. Geezer

    critique BackTrack Short Script critique requested

    When did that happen?
  5. Geezer

    critique BackTrack Short Script critique requested

    You've changed her name but not here; "NATASMAI cradles JAMES’ hand, giving a crooked smile." I would keep Natasmai as her name for the reason I gave above. Also why would she spend months with James, surely she would have killed him by now. I think it would be better to have James take her...
  6. Geezer

    critique BackTrack Short Script critique requested

    I know what you mean with the name but Natasmai sounds foreign so would explain her strange dialect.
  7. Geezer

    critique BackTrack Short Script critique requested

    I just realised who Natasmai is but still doen't explain why she wants to kill James. I think this is quite a good idea but it just doesn't work as it is. Maybe make it a bit longer and let us know why she wants to take his life. You don't need to reveal that until the end but at least it would...
  8. Geezer

    critique BackTrack Short Script critique requested

    I don't think you should have subtitles. I also think James should find out she is speaking backwards by accident. Haven't thought how, maybe a fault with his phone. I think the delivery driver just telling him is... well it just ruins it for me.
  9. Geezer

    misc Semi Final

    Well that's burst my bubble :lol:
  10. Geezer

    misc Semi Final

    Yeah but it's OK, they said if I send them £1,000 they can send me my $100,000,000 winnings so that's all good.
  11. Geezer

    misc Semi Final

    I'd rather not say as they might find out I'm doubting them, I wouldn't want to upset them lol I just wondered if this sort of things happen. I'm new to all this. They seem reputable and the judges seem to have written for some good shows. Oh well I'll just wait and see what happens.
  12. Geezer

    misc Semi Final

    Do you mean who is running it?
  13. Geezer

    misc Semi Final

    I've just entered a script writing contest and was informed today that I've made the semi finals. Is this any good or do they tell everyone they are in the semi final to make them feel good? Do they do this so that you are tempted to submit more scripts and therefore spend more money. Yes I...
  14. Geezer

    character All my characters talk like me.

    I often think about the way I speak and trying to write it is not easy. I like the sign above and I reckon that's spot on.
  15. Geezer

    character All my characters talk like me.

    Yeah I was going to add about "Something" like "Summit," "Sumfink," Sumink," or "Something". I was talking about strong accents like the trainspotting example, I still say it's not crucial though. I'm in the UK and my "Something" examples are used all the time where I am. Obviously if my...
  16. Geezer

    character All my characters talk like me.

    I think it's about words people use or things they always add. Things like "Like" also a lot of people start every sentence with "So". Maybe other things like "Mate" "Dude". Two of my mates speak pretty similiar accent wise but one uses "Dude" and the other uses "Mate." A lot of people use...
  17. Geezer

    critique WORK IN PROGRESS scripts

    What are looking for, a site that tells you what you want to hear? I decided to try Bobs Burgers, not the actual burgers just the script. WOW! that is just crazy. We weren't introduced to many of the characters, they just appeared. I got to the end of page 6 and had absolutely no clue what was...
  18. Geezer

    critique WORK IN PROGRESS scripts

    If you can't take criticism then maybe you should not post your scripts to get feedback. If you do ask for feedback don't attack those who ave gone to the trouble of reading and then trying to offer advice. You said: "but attacks almost to points of bullying " well unless I missed something I...
  19. Geezer

    critique WORK IN PROGRESS scripts

    I agree there is far too much description going on, you are writing a screenplay not a novel. "Cassie has an open-mouthed expression as if to say ‘oh’. With her left hand, she holds up her palm towards him and lowers her fingers to her palm and back up as a wave to him. She walks alongside the...
  20. Geezer

    critique Short Script

    OK, thanks for your input and I suppose it does make sense. I don't really think about budget and cast but I suppose thats something I need to think about if I hope to get anything made. If anyone wants to make this short then I would consider different options if it would make it easier to...
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