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video (editing) Feedback Requested

sfoster

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I'm meeting with a musician this week to produce the soundtrack so I need to get picture lock ASAP.
I've gotten some really insightful comments on indietalk in the past so I think this will be helpful to me if anyone has 24 minutes to spare.

I put the unlisted video on youtube to be watched here until 5/25/20.
EDIT: 3 Minutes have been cut from that video. New version is here for now.

Note: This is not a completed film. The audio is a WIP and there is zero color grading or VFX work completed.
I'd love comments on the editing. I have in mind already what/where the music will be but I welcome input on that as well.

Thanks everyone!
 
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Oh okay. FYI it might not be remembered in the end title. I think it would have to be mentioned in the end to tie it in, like when he talks about the money as they make up. "So Janice won't be seeing me in the office!" She laughs..
 
Oh okay. FYI it might not be remembered in the end title. I think it would have to be mentioned in the end to tie it in, like when he talks about the money as they make up. "So Janice won't be seeing me in the office!" She laughs..

Well I'm gonna show a picture of janice and vlad together so they wont recognize her for sure.
Maybe I can say "Sarah's friend Janice" and then it won't matter if they remember her or not.

I want to give the dog a happy ending
 

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How about that pic and the title something like:

"And Vlad filled the open position with Janice. He was a great fit."

Something like that ties it in. ;)
 
I just watched it in a movie theater in VR. It was awesome but baddddly needs music in those first couple crime scenes. story isnt being told right without it.

The worst part of my movie theater experience was the breakup scene though - with headphones the humming was so bad it was giving me a headache.

I tried to unplug everything but its was a tall building with central heating :(
 
I think for my audience I could just say "Ryan drives to new hampshire" instead of having to create map animations

"Segrim gets in an UBER outside the Bank"

etc dictate actions with title cards in the final version

sounds fine to me. a little unconventional but hey its low budget. what do you think ?
 
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I'd prefer some animations if you could do them. Especially if they occur 3 or more times, if only once I would say no, but it could become a cool element of the the film and even up the production value by adding that little slick element if done right. The titles could look like a scene is missing.
 
If you start watching and get bored - stop watching! and then tell me when you stopped so I can make that part more exciting.

I don't want to sound mean, but you don't wanna know ;( Guess it's not my kind of film.

It all depends on what you're trying to achieve with this film.

On my second run as a director, I felt like the script wasn't up to scratch but others convinced me it was ready to shoot. I didn't have the confidence to put my foot down. We ended up shoting a romcom that was quivering dull mess. We spent way more time in post production trying to polish it than the film was worth. We ended up improving it in the edit, but the amount of work it took to improve it wasn't worth it. It was far from being a decent film in the end. You can only edit so much. It was a good learning experience. That's about it.

Sorry about the sidetrack with that story of mine. In the end, you'll have to decide for yourself whether you're in the ballpark of being happy with it. If you are, then little touchups is what you're looking for. I'd suggest tightening up the edit. Trim the fat. Trim, trim, trim. Trying laying down some temp music/fx to see how it feels and go from there. If that doesn't work, look below:

I don't know what coverage you have, but if you're thinking it's not working/dull, you'll need to rewrite (either with a reshoot or rewrite in post) to get it there.
 
I don't want to sound mean, but you don't wanna know ;( Guess it's not my kind of film.

It all depends on what you're trying to achieve with this film.

On my second run as a director, I felt like the script wasn't up to scratch but others convinced me it was ready to shoot. I didn't have the confidence to put my foot down. We ended up shoting a romcom that was quivering dull mess. We spent way more time in post production trying to polish it than the film was worth. We ended up improving it in the edit, but the amount of work it took to improve it wasn't worth it. It was far from being a decent film in the end. You can only edit so much. It was a good learning experience. That's about it.

Sorry about the sidetrack with that story of mine. In the end, you'll have to decide for yourself whether you're in the ballpark of being happy with it. If you are, then little touchups is what you're looking for. I'd suggest tightening up the edit. Trim the fat. Trim, trim, trim. Trying laying down some temp music/fx to see how it feels and go from there. If that doesn't work, look below:

I don't know what coverage you have, but if you're thinking it's not working/dull, you'll need to rewrite (either with a reshoot or rewrite in post) to get it there.


How far did you make it / do you like breaking bad or crime dramas?

There aren’t even any film festivals. I guess he best I can hope for is to maybe impress my family? Lol my last film has averaged less than a view a day for five years so I’m not delusional about anybody wanting to see my work
 
Damn I lost the first half of my reply. Maybe a mobile bug. I was saying i trimmed another 90 seconds today so I’m still learning from the experience and it’s down more than 10% fat from the link you watched. So it definitely had fat still and it’s getting very close to done. Bc a few of my cuts considered today would have made it worse. So I’m almost out of places to cut finally
 
New 20 minute version is linked in the OP.
I didn't think anybody else would be interested but sweetie bumped the thread so hey why not?

I accepted all of ITs cuts except for the panning in a comedy scene. I thought it needed the delay to be funny.
 
Just lol. Tried to go to sleep and had an idea. Just Took 7 seconds off of the first 20 seconds with two edits and it’s noticeably improved.
No longer explains himself just hits the steering wheel when corrected. Kinda funny and more relatable this way. And when asked about his idea he jumps directly into “have you ever been at a stop sign”
 
what do you think ?
Honestly you don't really need to explain the uber and the car. Since you're doing time pass titles you could simply say "20 minutes later" and just cut to him driving up to the bag, and our minds will connect the dots.

Driving to NH seems okay too. But the whole explanation of an uber and a car following is too much info and seems like a placeholder for a scene.
 
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