Recent content by UneducatedFan

Screenwriter's Bible Your Screenplay Sucks Making a Good Script Great Podcasts: https://www.scriptreaderpro.com/screenwriting-podcasts-2/

This. The logline needs to be about the story of the character IN the surroundings and happenings. You've provided the setting, but you haven't provided us: The character (who we see/experience the story through) Their plot/arc and challenges. Although not an official logline, checkout this...

After reading a bit, my recommendation would be: Cut down on all the very specific direction in the action lines. Trim out a lot of the redundant dialogue. By redundant I mean that dialogue that tells us what we already see through action or that we can logically deduce without having to be told.

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Men Don't Leave 7/10 from 1990. Some pretty good performances with young Joan Cusack, Chris McDonnell and Kathy Bates. Kinda uneven at times to portray each of the characters in a unique way. The Score by Randy Newman was a nice 1990 score. It was clear watching it that it was directed by...

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Short and sweet. Done.

:hi: Screenwriter here was well.

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Captain Fantastic 7.5/10 Pretty good flick about a deeply idealistic and sheltered family with believable characters whose lives are shattered by the mental illness and death of their mother at the same time that their maturing children are developing their own identities, wants and desires...

Neither of those would lead me to read them IMHO. Here's a different approach to help look at it from a different angle. A gay couple, dissatisfied and depressed at the current stagnant state of their love life, decide to begin an open relationship in an effort to rekindle their romance...