Recent content by BrandonWalsh

Good day, I was asked by some gentlemen to write a small piece for a no budget horror movie they were working on. Think $0, a couple of guys with a camera and that is pretty much it. Either way, I said I would happily provide them with a little track since I am not really used to writing for...

I am sorry if this is a strange request, or a request that will be frowned upon but I thought that I might as well try. I am looking for a director that has some footage from a (completed) short/similar that he or she is willing to grant me rights to use in a music video for YouTube. I am a...

I've made some minor adjustments and would not mind some feedback if either of you have five minutes to spare. Don't worry, I am not going to bother you and post all my screenplays (and their edits) here in the future, I just need a quick check to see that I am going in the right direction in...

Thanks for your feedback! I am currently trying to incorporate all the good ideas and pointers I got in this post into a second draft. Yes, the educational system here is pretty good but I think that one of the most important variables in this equation is the fact that we do not dub our...

Wombat, You are right about the first scene. I sort of agree with you that it is somewhat dangling about now, not adding much to the story except giving some information as to what is going on and who is behind it all. I will take your advice under consideration although I still feel there is...

First of all I'd like to thank all of you who read it and took the time to comment. It is very helpful to me to receive feedback from you guys who have some experience so that I know what I can improve in the future. Thanks, I am pleased that my attempts at showing the action seems to work to...

Hi guys, Some of you might recognize me as the guy who posted a lot of newbie questions lately in the forum regarding some of the technicalities of writing a screenplay. I thought that nothing could be more effective than to post the first draft of my screenplay to get some feedback on this...

No offense taken 2001, I do appreciate your advice and I agree with what you are saying. As a newbie, yes indeed, it does seem like there are a bunch of rules that must be adhered to. After reading up on the general ideas and thoughts about how to format the screenplay it's quite simple to fall...

Thanks Directorik for your input. I am sure a lot of the things that a new writer is asking about is stuff that is not set in stone and that a lot of people would be having a difference in opinion about. I am just trying to gain that basic knowledge where I can sit down and write my scenes...

Sorry for stirring things up here when it was just a very simple and generic question :). Thanks 2001, I've noticed that style as well and it certainly has its merits. I know that you are right about what is important to focus on, I just tend to be more efficient in what I do if I know that I...

The ideas are dumb and the dialogue is bad - most likely true in this case, yes :). But no, I am not making this myself. I fully expect no one to actually shoot this in the end. However, someone might read it at some point and I just like to learn these kind of things so that I do not have to...

Another question from me. By the way, sorry for necromancing my own thread, I am not sure if this is frowned upon here. When you have a long list of action items, for instance: David gets out of his car. David walks down the street. David gets run over by a bus. Is it customary to always...

Thanks all for your opinions, I'm learning a lot from your responses alone. The script for Alien is, as already stated, super clear and easy to read. Very impressive and a good exercise for someone like me, to whom words really come easy and in great quantities, to read it and appreciate the...

Thanks a lot for the info and the link. I will absolutely try to integrate this into my writing.

Thanks for the feedback Beeblebrox. Things that puzzle me right now is exactly how specific I should be about certain things in the screenplay. I tend to want to write out stuff in a lot of detail resulting in very long paragraphs so I am really trying to control myself and instead stick to...