Wow, this is was fantastic! Hell of a visual talent.
Thank you for the feedback. I'll address them as best I can.Opening shot looks really cool - but left me questioning who sleeps with a blinking light pointed right at their face lol. I for sure would not be able to fall asleep like that and I would have the light turned the other way. but still a cool opening shot, great work.
Does anyone else think the contrast is a little washed out in this film? not every shot but most of them
The music was too much for me during that guy's voice over. hurt my head a little (i have big speakers)
the radio conversation was the weakest part of the film. the guys parts rang false for me. if she were recording a sad farewell message to her family, by the time you get this ill be dead, wanted to let you know i love you. good bye! you can really pull on some heart strings and you missed that opportunity.
Was referring to the radio conversation at 4:45.Thank you for the feedback. I'll address them as best I can.
Blinking light = style being preferred over reality... haha. Sorry, just the way it was designed. All me on that decision.
Contrast issues: Yes, there were definitely parts that were washed out. It was just a matter of the color correction, and not having a true colorist (and using LUTs n things in place of that). The camera was an Arri Amira, so should have been able to get deep contrasts if I had a clue what to do with color correction. Maybe on the next film I can focus on coloring? Although I promised the next one would be mostly honing my scriptwriting and storytelling.
Radio Conversation: I don't know if you are talking about the suicide message or my conversation with Rachel on the radio, but all in all any weakness in the writing all falls on my skills since I wrote the script.
I at least hope you at least enjoyed parts of it. You mostly point out negative aspects, and they are warranted.
As a second short film though, I'm proud of what we were able to pull off. It was my first time filming a miniature, filming paint with a Macro lens, working with professional crew, conducting a casting call, and scouting locations. While anything I make wont be airing on Netflix anytime soon, I treat it as the ultimate learning experience. I don't know any other way of getting better and more skilled in filmmaking than actually taking a shot and swinging for the fences.
I do appreciate the feedback and examples. Like I said your points are valid.Was referring to the radio conversation at 4:45.
Maybe it was the male actor? Something about that conversation just seemed off and felt like it could have been more emotional. didnt like the guys pauses either, they didnt add anything for me emotionally or dramatically. Like remember that scene in Gravity where sandra talks about her dead daughter over the radio? the most emotional and human part of the whole movie talking to herself (other dude didnt even understand english) but if we watch your scene.. the actress is good and when she talks about her man dying she makes a sad face and evokes feeling from your audience for about HALF A SECOND. then the rest of the scene is her talking tech ya know, the point of this scene should be focusing on that human loss. give her more than half a second to pull on the audiences heart strings.
Visually it looks great. The spaceship vibrates a bit but i didnt have any problems with the VFX or the aesthetic. I think you created a sci-fi feeling, doesn't seem like we are at someones house on earth or something. Definitely a big accomplishment here!
You say "Maybe on the next film I can focus on coloring? Although I promised the next one would be mostly honing my scriptwriting and storytelling." and it makes it sound like theyre mutually excusive.. one of those is preproduction and one of those is post production. they don't overlap at all. Why can't you do both?
The big question is - What was the timeline rush that you couldn't fix the contrast on this yourself?
I suspect the answer is that you dont realize how easy it would be to do and youre intimidated by the unknown.
Here is a brief example (its unlisted on youtube but I'll take it down upon request)
0-25: Original Grade 26-50: Contrast Fixed
I edited this with a youtube h.264 version so its an 8-bit download and it's quite rushed! Literally i spent about 2 minutes on it, I experimented with a few settings. it could be even better if you color graded with the real arri footage.
You could learn how to use resolve in one day and then you can do this yourself. its actually really simple stuff to fix contrast (luma) alone. almost entire just primary wheel adjustments. it does get more complicated when you start changing the color (chroma) and that is a whole career and there are entire books about it etc. but contrast is simple.
Edit: now that i've watched this opening shot like 4 times - did you ever experiment with the alarm sound being soft and then getting loud when she takes her headphones off ? I spent 5 minutes playing with the sound and added extra punch! this is all rushed just to demonstrate the concept. took me some finagling because she doesn't react to the alarm sound. it goes off and then she reacts a full second later so i had to shift all the audio over to make her reaction match the loud blaring alarm
good you dont have to defend or justify anything i'm just trying to be constructive and help you get better. always keep in mind its way easier to criticize than it is to create, so someone maybe able to come along and punch holes in your work or improve an aspect of it but that doesnt mean they would be able to create it from scratchI do appreciate the feedback and examples. Like I said your points are valid.